DEAR Miss Lonelyhearts: My music teacher slipped me the tongue. I'm not a teenager! I'm 36 years old. We have been flirting a lot in recent months. I think he's a few years younger -- late 20s. When it was his birthday recently, I offered him a birthday kiss and puckered up, expecting it to be a sweet little close-mouthed kiss. BUT he went for it, big time. I was so shocked I missed my last lesson because of it. He's a good teacher, but hey, I have my own boyfriend. Should I quit my lessons? I shouldn't have to, because HE stepped over the line. What do you and your readers think? -- Shocked Student, Winnipeg
Dear Shocked: You offered your teacher a birthday kiss, offered your mouth, and then were shocked when he responded. I doubt anybody reading this is gasping. The prelude to the kiss was admittedly a lot of flirting between the two of you over months. So, the big question now it's over, is who's at fault and how much? Flirting with teachers is dirty pool. Responding to flirtatious students is foolish and can get you fired because you have power and position and you're supposed to be the one with maturity and sense. Would a chaste kiss have been all right with you? Did you really want a "no thanks" reply? What he should have said is that it's "against the teacher-student creed, so no thank you, but I appreciate the birthday wishes. Now let's get back to our lesson." Should you quit your lessons over this? Probably. That would make things less awkward. You are both at fault and Winnipeg has many good music teachers.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My regular wife and I live at one end of town, and my office wife and I live at the other, 7-5, running a business. She has her own "boring imitation of a husband" at home, so she says. At least he used to be boring, until he found a young woman of his own and let her find out. I had no idea she'd be jealous, considering she comes to work early so we can get it on before anyone else shows up in the building. Now she's wrecking our "alone time" talking about what her husband is up to. No shortage of hypocrites in this world. How am I supposed to take this? -- Annoyed, St. Boniface
Dear Annoyed: Poor diddums. You're so hard done by -- and so jealous. You've gone from two wives to 11/2, and that's just driving you nuts. If you want to get your office wife's attention, suggest the two of you break if off at work so she has more time to try to win back her husband. Then concentrate on fixing what's wrong in your own marriage -- unless your at-home wife already has someone else, too. A lot goes unsaid in bad marriages and your wife may have found you so absent and uninterested in her that she's gone further afield herself. Who knows how many horrified hypocrites could be involved in this mess?
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend called me an extremely rude and insulting name over the size of my butt. Now I'm getting dressed in my closet and we make love in the dark. Why should I lose weight to please the guy who has ridiculed me? OK, so I'm 50 pounds overweight and a lot of it is behind me. I'm thinking of dumping him anyway. -- In the Closet, St. Vital
Dear Closet: Fifty pounds overweight is unhealthy and puts you in line for a heart attack, diabetes and all kinds of nasty things. Dump him and lose the weight in privacy, for your own health and confidence. Make sure he gets a load of you one day when you're fit again, but don't do it for him -- do it for your own satisfaction. You don't have to be nice every minute of the day.
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