December 10, 2013 Sections
Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: After too many tequilas down in Mexico my girlfriend confessed she loved my soul but she didn't really like my small body that much. I am a short guy, age 27. There is nothing I can do about my "lack of tall." If she had said I was too fat, I could have dieted, too thin and I could have beefed up. As it is, I am five-foot-five and that's all she wrote. That really hurt and I got very mad. I then told her I didn't like her interior build and that she should do some Kegel exercises to improve those sex muscles. We haven't had sex since, and we are barely seeing one another now that we're back from Mexico. My brother said there's some lines you can cross, where you can't get back over them. Is this one of those lines? -- Size Matters, Westwood
Dear Size: Not making cracks about size to your lover matters even more. Now that you have insulted each other in a very deep way, you are going to have a lot of trouble taking it back. You're young, not married and you don't have children. You didn't mention the word "love" in the letter either, so it seems that things are not as serious emotionally as they might be. What you two need to do is shake hands and walk out of the ring in different directions.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want to get married but my gay love of nine years doesn't. He says that I just want to get married to prove gay men can, but I feel it would make a difference to how we feel. We are in love -- have been for years -- but I would like for us to be wearing each other's rings, the sign of a sacred covenant between us. It would also stop him from looking so single when he goes out of the country to conferences. I don't know what else to say to him without damaging what we have now. He certainly doesn't need to know that I think out-of-town guys might hit on him if he has no ring and that one lonely night he might respond. -- Should I Push? Downtown
Dear Push: Wedding rings can make predators back off, but for a player they can be a challenge. Part of the "fun" is seeing if that person can be stolen from the one back home who thinks he owns him. Having said that, rings are a partial shield. You should also know that people who want to look single can slip the ring in their pocket, in a twinkling. Getting married shouldn't be so much about tying the other person down as declaring one's lasting love to each other. It's funny how one hesitates to say "forever" these days, isn't it?
Questions or comments? Please email email@example.com or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1350 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 10, 2013 A15