OK, kids, let's slip into our tuxedos and/or evening gowns, pour a snifter of expensive cognac and park ourselves in the nearest chaise longue, because today the Weather Column is ratcheting up the culture content.
We always try to bring you the weekend forecast with a certain amount of panache, but today we have decided to push the envelope of classy by presenting the outlook in the form of an original poem.
What we are talking about here is the sort of high-class poem that might have sprung from the collective genius of such legendary weather forecasters as Shakespeare or, possibly, Longfellow. It goes a little something like this...
Spring has sprung
The grass has riz
We wonder what the temperature is
Look at the forecast
And for today you'll see
A below-normal high of just 7 C
And though it pains us
We are forced to say
Some (bad word) rain is on the way
But don't be discouraged
By a few low-pressure troughs
Stay inside and enjoy the Stanley Cup playoffs
For those of you without honours degrees in English, what we are trying to convey via rhyme is the fact today will be damp with a high of 7 C, well below the normal high of 13 C at this time of year.
On Sunday, we're looking at a mix of sun and clouds along with a high of 12 C, while the rest of the week is a real mixed bag: some sun, some clouds, some rain and, on Tuesday, a muggy high of 17 C.
If, like the Weather Column, you have poetry in your soul, you will be searching this weekend for events to nurture your spirit and feed your soul, assuming those are different things.
We like to think if Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost were alive, they would be sharing their eloquence today and Sunday at the Spring Artisans Market Sale, presented by the Manitoba Crafts Museum and Library, at the West End Cultural Centre. Donations accepted.
We also strongly urge budding wordsmiths to help celebrate the planet on Sunday by taking in the Earth Day festivities at FortWhyte Alive from noon to 4 p.m.
There are more events than you can shake a rhyming couplet at, so check out the schedule at fortwhytealive.org, where it's easy to be green.
Or grab the kids and head down to The Forks for Dig In Manitoba, a tasty event put on by Food Matters Manitoba to promote local, healthy and sustainable foods.
You can work off the calories in the big scavenger hunt.
And I think I speak for Shakespeare and Longfellow when I leave you with these heartfelt words: Please cheer for the Canucks/To win Stanley Cup rings/They need a (bad word) miracle/To beat the (bad word) Kings!