Winnipeg Free Press - ONLINE EDITION

The happiest place on Earth?!

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Admit it - you've had a long week.Maybe it's the hot weather that's got you a bit cranky. Maybe you're ticked that your buddy is on holidays while you're stuck in an office. Or maybe the kids are driving you bonkers at home as we enter the "dog days" of summer.Whatever the cause, you could probably use a laugh.Consider it done!One of my favourite things to do is scout out "dumb criminal" stories - the type of tales that remind us that no matter how crappy things might seem, there's at least one person out there having a worse day than you!It may be petty. It may be vain. But usually it's just flat-out funny!So, I present to you a few of my personal favourites. You can always read more under the "Lighter Side of the Law" section of my website by clicking HERE.Let's start off in Disneyland, where we are treated to the following gem.w081503A.jpgANAHEIM - Cinderella, Snow White, Tinkerbell and other fictional fixtures of modern-day childhood were handcuffed, frisked and loaded into police vans Thursday at the culmination of a labour protest that brought a touch of reality to the Happiest Place on Earth.The arrest of the 32 protesters, many of whom wore costumes representing famous Disney characters, came at the end of an hour-long march to Disneyland's gates from one of three Disney-owned hotels at the centre of a labour dispute.Those who were arrested sat in a circle on a busy intersection outside the park holding hands until they were placed in plastic handcuffs and led to two police vans while hundreds of hotel workers cheered and chanted.Next up is this beauty from Florida.JACKSONVILLE – The sauce for a spicy Italian sandwich was apparently a must have for one Florida man.The man, Reginald Peterson, called 911 twice after a sandwich shop left off the sauce.According to a police report, Peterson initially called the emergency number Thursday so that officers could have his subs made correctly.The second call was to complain that police officers weren’t arriving fast enough.Still on the topic of food, apparently this Chicago cop was suffering from some kind of caffeine-rage.CHICAGO — A Chicago police officer has been suspended for 15 months for demanding free coffee and baked goods from six different Starbucks.Officer Barbara Nevers, a 14-year veteran, has also been ordered to have counselling.The Police Board ruled in May that 55-year-old Nevers intimidated Starbucks employees by screaming at them and flashing her badge, handcuffs or gun when they wanted her to pay.And how about these bozos, caught "Orange-handed" in Minnesota.ST. PAUL – An orange trail of Cheetos led St. Paul, Minn. police to three teenagers suspected of burglarizing a vending machine.Officers were called to the Arlington Recreation Center on July 29, where they found a vending machine’s glass had been broken with a chair. Most of the candy and chips were missing, according to a criminal complaint.The officers followed a trail of snack debris from the rec centre, around the side of the building and to a nearby home. Inside, they found numerous vending-sized bags of Cheetos and other snacks. Finally, this Colorado creep at least deserves an "A" for effort.LONGMONT – Nice try.Authorities in Colorado say a man claiming to be a police detective asked an adult novelty shop to give him free X-rated videos, saying he wanted to make sure the performers weren’t underage. The man, who is on the run and has not yet been identified, attempted to get the videos on three separate occasions over a nine-day period last month.He was turned down each time and the store manager called police after the third try.Authorities said Monday that the man showed a badge and left a business card from the Longmont, Colo.. police “age verification unit.” This proves, once again, that there are indeed a million stories in the naked city.www.mikeoncrime.com

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About Mike McIntyre

Journalist, national radio show host, author, pundit and cruise director ... Mike McIntyre loves to keep busy.

Mike is the justice reporter for the Winnipeg Free Press, where he has worked since 1997. He produces and hosts the weekly talk radio show Crime and Punishment, which runs on the Corus Radio Network in several Canadian cities.

Born and bred in Winnipeg, Mike graduated from River East Collegiate and completed his journalism studies in the Creative Communications program at Red River College.

He and his wife, Chassity, have two children.

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