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The end of an affair

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I think I need to put an end to something; an affair that started long, long ago that still lingers in my life today. You see, before hubby came into the picture I had a constant companion with me between the sheets: My laptop! It was one of my single-girl habits to take my laptop to bed in the evening and use the last hour of my day to catch up on writing projects, read emails or surf the Internet. And from time to time, I hate to admit, I would use my laptop as a DVD player and watch Sex and the City videos before falling asleep. Sad but true. Anyway, since becoming married, this old habit of mine doesn’t seem to fly. Just the mere sound of my laptop being fired up or the clicking of my nails on the keyboard puts hubby in a coma and he’s fast asleep before I can even say good night. I mean, there is a plus side in that I can get a lot of work done, but romantically speaking, it is a killer. I haven’t consulted the plethora of self-help books on my night table on this one yet, but I’m guessing the experts would agree. Maybe tonight I will try to finish blogging before bedtime.Speaking of endings, I have another farewell to make this week. One of my best friends is moving away. Second one this year! What is it about Manitoba that drives many talented, professionals away from here? The only bright spot is both friends moved to Ontario (not Alberta, thankfully. If I lose one more friend to that province I swear I will start a boycott!) and it will make visiting the two of them easier.I know, there’s a saying, when one door closes….well, it closes and you need to adjust and get used to the change. One thing I’ve come to realize is that change is a bugger no matter what. Despite my best intentions and preparations, there have days since exchanging vows and becoming a stepmom to three beautiful daughters that I’ve pulled into my driveway at the end of the day and wondered, do I really have a husband and five kids in that house? It’s similar to when I was pregnant with my sons and, despite my best attempts of preparing and planning for the change, my emotions still went for a ride. Becoming a stepmom has been kind of like that, only without the burden of the baby fat, late-night feedings and post-partum hormones. Assuming responsibility and creating space in your life for any kid is an awesome job – whether it’s part-time or around the clock; infant or teenager. Change is a reality, but taking a deep breath, opening the door and walking into new surroundings is never worse than sitting on the sidelines with doubt and fear. And when all else fails, having the ear of a good friend can do wonders in seeing you through change. I guess I’ll be upgrading my long distance plan.Since I’m cutting out my bedtime writing hour, I may not have an opportunity to get back on this blog before Mother’s Day. So, let me end by wishing all the women who have given a piece of their heart to a child – whether it’s their biological, foster, step or any other kind – a wonderful Mother’s Day!

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