Doug Speirs

  • I think I've got Maserati envy

    There goes the neighbourhood! That's what I was thinking over the weekend as my wife and I drove home from the mall with enough chocolate bunnies, chocolate eggs and other Easter goodies to send our adult children into a sugar-induced coma.
  • A bubba bonanza

    Say what you will, Gerry Lester Watson Jr. is not about to let a little fame go to his head. After winning his second Masters tournament in three years -- a $1.62-million payday -- Gerry took his wife and closest friends out to celebrate.
  • Your weekend weather

    What with Easter sneaking up on us once again, the Weather Column would like to kick off your weekend forecast with an emotional rendition of one of our favourite holiday classics from way back in 1950. Get ready to feel uplifted, because it goes a little something like this: "Here comes Peter Cottontail, Hoppin' down the bunny trail, Hippity Hoppity ... WHAMMO! OH NO! PETER COTTONTAIL HAS FALLEN INTO A POTHOLE! YIKES! THAT IS ONE VERY ANGRY-LOOKING BUNNY!"
  • Hockey pool isn't just fun -- it's helping the economy

    It's a traditional rite of spring throughout this great semi-frozen country of ours. Every year at this time, as the NHL's regular season draws to its inevitable end, Canadian guys of my gender turn off their big-screen TVs, climb off their couches, dust the taco-chip crumbs from their souvenir hockey jerseys, walk out of their dens, scratch their heads as they try to remember how many children they have and what their names are, then march outside to squint in the blinding sunlight and see whether their lawns are still buried under two metres of snow.
  • Bacon really is out of this world

    I don't think I need to remind you about my passionate love affair with bacon. But I'm going to do it anyway, because -- and this will sound better if you play a little romantic mood music in the background -- I really, really love bacon!
  • Trending that caught Doug's eye... controversial magazine covers

    What with the search for the missing jetliner, the crisis in Ukraine and the stunning election results in Quebec, we suspect most of you are gripped by the latest scandal rocking the world of golf. This searing scandal erupted after the venerable magazine Golf Digest put model Paulina Gretzky on the cover of its new issue wearing hot white yoga pants, a barely-there sports bra, and resting on a golf club as if it was a stripper pole while flaunting her toned tummy.
  • Your weekend weather

    Remember a while back when The Weather Column gleefully informed you warmer weather was coming and spring was right around the corner? Well, on the upside, we could not have been more accurate in terms of the big picture, because warmer spring weather will eventually get here. On the downside, we may have been just a tiny bit off the mark when it comes to the minor details, such as when this warmer weather will arrive and how far away the corner is.
  • Technology peaked with typewriters

    Call me hopelessly old-fashioned, but I really miss typewriters. For all you younger persons out there, typewriters are antique mechanical devices that allowed you to put words onto pieces of paper via the technique of pounding on metal keys that would cause little metal arms with letters on their ends to strike a ribbon and somehow -- this probably involved voodoo -- cause an ink impression of whatever letter you hammered to magically appear on the paper.
  • It was campy, but for a great cause

    I think most of us can remember the wide-eyed excitement of going to summer camp back in the day. Who could forget the thrill of being attacked by mosquitoes the size of recreational vehicles, or having their bed short-sheeted by the bigger kids in the cabin, or having 95 per cent of their pasty-white body covered in a mysterious rash that left even the camp nurse scratching her head?
  • Real connections, real loss

    This will sound odd coming from a middle-aged newspaper columnist, but I feel terrible for pop star Miley Cyrus. I'm not a big fan of her music or her antics with foam fingers and wrecking balls, but I think I understand the pain she was feeling last week when she announced the death of her beloved dog Floyd on her Twitter account.
  • These were some tasty books

    As a literary genius and great humanitarian, I strongly believe you should never judge a book by its cover. No, in a free and democratic society, I believe it is essential to judge books by the way they taste.
  • Into the Fan Cave

    Call the neighbours and wake up the kids, because The Weather Column has some awesome news that will help restore your faith in humanity. But first, let’s talk about the weather.
  • Great shakes

    "I feel the earth move under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down, tumbling down!"
  • Into the Fan Cave

    Call the neighbours and wake up the kids, because The Weather Column has some awesome news that will help restore your faith in humanity. But first, let's talk about the weather.
  • Dropping F-bombs requires panache

    It appears I have a lot more in common with Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau than I realized. Naturally curly hair? Check! Boyish good looks? Check! Rapier-like wit with which we skewer our unsuspecting rivals? Check! Insouciant smile meant to convey a casual lack of concern with the affairs of common people? Check!
  • Missing wallets common woe

    Today we are going to present scientific evidence showing why guys of my gender should not be allowed to own nice things. Exhibit A is my buddy, Mark, who dropped by our house the other night to join a group of friends who had earlier attended an educational event at the Scandinavian Cultural Centre wherein our buddy Bob gave a fascinating speech about the history of Swedish drinking songs, of which there are way more than you could ever imagine.
  • Trending that caught Doug's eye... Really cool car chases

    We hate to make sweeping generalizations, but when it comes to movies, there are two kinds of people in the world. The first group -- for journalistic purposes we'll refer to them as "women" -- typically prefers films wherein the lead characters spend a great deal of time in conversation sharing their innermost feelings.
  • Your weekend weather

    To: Winter From: Management
  • Splitting? No... consciously uncoupling

    By now, you have most likely heard the terrible news. There's no way to sugarcoat it so I'll just blurt it out -- lifestyle guru/actress Gwyneth Paltrow and her rock-star husband, Chris Martin, are going their separate ways after 11 years of marriage.
  • C'mon kids, it's time to take a gamble

    I think we can all agree: The big problem with the younger generation today is they just don't gamble enough. Seriously, young people, what the heck is wrong with you? I mean, instead of wasting your money on Justin Bieber CDs, skinny caramel macchiatos with extra foam or mind-numbing video games in which you destroy the green-skinned inhabitants of distant galaxies, why can't you be more like your parents and just waste money on government-run lotteries in which, as far as I can tell, no one ever wins a nickel.
  • Colossal kitty

    There's no way around it -- Eddie is one fat cat. At 10 kilograms (23 lbs), he's a real tubby tabby, a slow-moving gentle giant.
  • Home invasion of the critter kind

    I suspect we have all wondered how we'd react if we were startled awake and suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a terrifying home invasion. Well, that's exactly what happened the other morning to my buddy Bob, who also happens to be my boss and could fire me if I portray him in today's column in a less-than-flattering light.
  • Everyone loves a good mystery

    Even off-the-wall alt-rock singer Courtney Love got into the act. We're referring to the massive search for Malaysian Airlines Flight 370, which vanished early March 8 while flying from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing with 239 people, including two Canadians, on board.
  • Your weekend weather

    Frozen pipes. Snowbanks the size of aircraft carriers lining your driveway. And people driven to the brink of madness by the never-ending deep-freeze threatening to stuff pineapples down your windpipe as you stand in line at the checkout aisle of your local grocery store. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to spring in Winnipeg.
  • Cold, miserable but not our worst

    There is one sure sign of spring in this city -- everyone whines incessantly about how they've just survived the worst winter in the history of the (bad word) universe. I hate to burst your frozen bubble, but, as bad as it was, this was not our worst winter ever. It just felt like it.

Poll

Now that the snow is mostly gone, what are your plans?

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