Your weekend weather

It's the eve of the Grey Cup, which means strict federal entertainment guidelines require us to deliver your weekend weather forecast via the use of complex football-related terminology.

We will "kick off" by saying we are pretty confident in today's forecast, partly because we plan to use the "running game" to set up the "passing attack," but mainly because we here at Forecast Central plan to give "110 per cent" today since we know that you, the readers, "put your pants on one leg at a time."

Weather fans know that lately our squad has routinely "scored" above-normal temperatures, because hard-hitting southwesterly winds "recruited" over the Pacific Ocean have been "running up the gut" versus B.C., slamming into a "goal-line defence" thrown up by the Rocky Mountains and "fumbling" most of their precipitation before arriving on our "home turf."

Based on Environment Canada's pre-game analysis, the coaching staff expects that positive trend to "blitz" through the rest of the week.

If we zoom in on today's forecast, we can see that hulking clouds are expected to "block" out the sun for much of the day, but the warming trend will continue to "move the chains" and the temperature should run up to 1 C, a much better score than the normal -6 C high on the scoreboard at this time of year.

On Grey Cup Sunday, the clouds will be called for "face-masking," but the sun should "punch through the line" fairly frequently, with the mercury "sticking close to its man" at 1 C yet again.

But don't kid yourselves, fans, there will be some tough sledding in the third and fourth quarters.

We expect temperatures to "drop the ball" -- and immediately be recruited to play receiver for the Blue Bombers -- later in the week, falling to -6 C.

After checking the replay, we can see the city will be "clipped" by periods of snow on Tuesday, which could make it tough to find the line of scrimmage.

It's time for a commercial break because the refs have just thrown a penalty flag.

OK, Forecast Central has just received a late-breaking bulletin from the City of Winnipeg stating: Annual Snow Route Overnight Parking Ban Commences Tuesday, Dec. 1, 2009.

Reading between the "hash marks," that means you can't park your vehicle on a street designated as a Snow Route after 2 a.m. Tuesday morning.

Considering the fact we have just looked outside and there is NO (BAD WORD) SNOW, we are going to call the city for "offsides" and penalize them 15 yards for delay of parking.

OK, we are going to take a time-out here and update everyone about some of the non-football activities they are permitted to engage in during Grey Cup weekend.

First out of the huddle is Canad Inns Winter Wonderland, the annual drive-thru light show that runs 6 to 10 p.m. nightly at Red River Exhibition Park until Jan. 3. Tickets are $10 at Mac's and Red River Co-op or $15 at the gate.

You can also make "forward progress" with your pets to the humane society's shelter at 45 Hurst Way Sunday from noon until 4 p.m. and hand them off to Santa Claus for the second Pet Pics with Santa Paws fundraiser.

Or you can get your "game face" on and head to the Rady Jewish Community Centre at 8 p.m. tonight for a concert featuring Rachel Mercer, who recently won the use of an $8-million Stradivarius cello (yes, we said EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS) from the Canada Council for the Arts.

But we will definitely send you to the showers if you are not in the "end zone" Sunday with a beer in one hand and some chicken wings in the other ready to watch the Saskatchewan Roughriders and the Montreal Alouettes duke it out in the Grey Cup.

And if you plan to get your "backfield in motion" outside, remember to plop one of those bright green hollowed-out watermelon helmets on your fuzzy little head.

It won't keep you warm, but at least when we find your frozen body in the spring we'll know what team you were cheering for.

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 28, 2009 A2