DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new boyfriend has a foot fetish, which is the last thing I need. I like certain things about my face and body, but I am embarrassed about my feet -- they are long and wide and the toes are gnarled. Now every "lovemaking" session starts and ends with a big fuss about kissing my feet. Last night -- I don't know if it was on purpose or not -- I hit his fat chin with my foot. OK, I kicked him and he bit his lip and it started bleeding. He grabbed his mouth, stopped the bleeding and went home, but not before saying, "Lady, you are sick in the head. I suggest you see a shrink before someone calls the cops on you."
What an overreaction! What's wrong with his head? -- Don't Need a Shrink, Tuxedo
Dear Don't: You may not need to speak to someone about foot fetishism, but you do need to talk to a counsellor about recognizing your mounting anger and being able to back off before you kick a man in the face and make his lip bleed. What if he had kicked you in the face? Sounds horrifying, doesn't it? "No more of that, thanks," before he touched your foot, would have been much kinder and far wiser than booting him in the jaw, which is assault.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I think you gave horrible advice to the lady asking about the second-hand ring. In my opinion, the man gave it honestly as a sign of his commitment. What difference does it make where it came from, whether it was new, used, his grandmother's, or from Walmart? There are far too few good men out there willing to make a commitment. This man obviously had enough good about him that she accepted his proposal. That she would even think about breaking it off because of a ring only shows how shallow she is. Maybe she's unwilling to commit and is only looking for an excuse to break it off. If she's really uncomfortable, she should talk with him and work out a solution -- maybe trade the ring in for one she wants. It'd be no different than if she thought the ring was ugly. True relationships should be about communication, compromise, and working together to find a solution, not dumping the other person for something so superficial as a ring. -- Not impressed With Advice, Winnipeg
Dear Not Impressed: You neglected to mention this big ring wasn't just second-hand or antique: It had been given to a previous fiancée and she had give it back when they broke up. Engagement and wedding rings carry deep sentiment for most women. This fellow had to know that, or else he would have been honest. How would he like a wedding ring she had given to another guy previously, and then gotten it back after a breakup? Not much! This was an important secret for him to sit on and try to sneak by. It's not just a matter of a casual ring, but a ring that signifies deep trust and transparency. You don't marry sneaky people if you get a sign up front and a lack of men out there who want to commit is not an excuse.
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