Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Bi-curious, bisexual not the same

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: You may not be aware that bisexuals are one of the most stigmatized groups in the country today. While it's true that, just like straight and gay people, some of us choose to have open relationships, be swingers or be polyamorous... most of us are monogamous. The statistics on cheating in straight relationships and marriages are pretty grim, as you know. Judging from your other letters, around 50 per cent or higher. So to point fingers at bisexuals is ridiculous. Research has been available since 1985 showing that mixed-orientation marriages work, and that long-term, happy, monogamous relationships between bisexuals and either gay or straight people are possible. It has nothing to do with bisexuality. Your presumption that bisexuality is (sometimes) a phase has been disproven by research. As I always say, I've known I was bi since I was a teenager, and I'm 59 now -- that's a mighty long "phase"! Your assumption that the bi partner will go after "straight privilege" and leave the lesbian for a man is incorrect and biphobic. In that case, no bisexual would ever end up in a same-gender relationship, and lots of us do. We just fall in love; the gender does not matter. When you repeat negative untruths about a group of people, you are part of the problem -- Not Impressed, Winnipeg

Dear Not Impressed: While bisexuality is not a phase for most people, writers to the column tell me about being bi-curious and experimenting in their teens and 20s or later in their lives after the kids are gone or a marriage is over. Bi-curious is not the same as bisexual. although bisexuals often argue it is. For some people, it's a phase of exploration. And for many, personal sexual stance is not static over a lifetime -- it's a continuum and may change with time of life and experiences they've had, good or bad. Faced with a long stint in jail I wonder how many of us would remain for 10 years without a love/sex relationship. If a person is emotionally and physically able to go one way or the other and be happy forever, that person could remain faithful to one person, no matter what their sexual preference. But, many people who write to this column say they have a desire to have sex with a partner of the opposite orientation to their partner.You wish to highlight people like you who can choose one sex out of love and passion for that individual. That's great, especially if a yen for another kind of sex totally dissipates. That's a lucky, stable situation.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 4, 2013 G5

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Sneak peek: The galleries of CMHR

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A young goose gobbles up grass at Fort Whyte Alive Monday morning- Young goslings are starting to show the markings of a adult geese-See Bryksa 30 day goose challenge- Day 20– June 11, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • A goose flys defensively to protect their young Wednesday near Kenaston Blvd and Waverley -See Bryksa 30 Day goose challenge- Day 16 - May 23, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

Do you support Canada's involvement in the fight against Islamic State?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google