Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Dating options limited for gay teen

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm in high school and I'm openly gay. No one in my school cares that I'm gay. In fact, everyone really applauds me for being so strong to come out. I have a lot of great friends, but recently I've started to feel really lonely. I see all my friends who are in cute relationships and I want to see myself in one, but there are no other openly gay or bi guys in my school. How does someone like me in their teens meet other GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender) teens and open up their relationship possibilities? I just really want to meet some other guys like me who know what it's like to be openly gay. The dating world for GLBT people in their teens seems really limited. Please help! -- Surrounded But Lonely, Winnipeg

Dear Surrounded But Lonely: It's heart-warming to read about your open-minded high school. Some schools have come a long way in acceptance and tolerance in recent years. Hats off to them! As for your problem, please access the helpful website of Rainbow Resource Centre (www.rainbowresourcecentre.org) which serves Manitoba's gay, lesbian, transgender and two-spirit communities. They offer youth programming and activities and could be of great help to you in meeting other gay youth as friends or perhaps something deeper. The whole website is worth reading, but especially the youth page. The centre is located in Osborne Village.

Getting involved, more than just socially, will bring you in touch with great people your age. Also, friendships and romances tend to blossom naturally in projects where you are working, laughing, learning and socializing as well.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm married to a short man and I'm a tall woman. I'm his "prize" and he lets me know it with all the respect, love and good humour in the world. When we go out he says, "Put on your high heels, darling."

People do stare at us. Even in the year 2013, people stare like crazy at a woman who is six inches taller in heels than her man. And, they check him over. That's what my husband says he likes. He says people think he must be something special to be with such a tall woman -- rich, famous or amazing in bed -- or all three. So, it's a win-win for us both. I adore him and he worships me, and ironically, it has something to do with our dramatic size difference that modern culture still expects to be vice versa. Silly people! -- Six Inches Taller In Heels, Winnipeg

Dear Six Inches Taller: You two have it all figured out and are having fun with it. That's a beautiful situation.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in response to your comments regarding the letter sent by Looked Deeply and Won, the woman whose husband was average looking until she got to know him and suddenly found him attractive. I believe evolution has left us biased against individuals whose looks fall outside accepted "standards" and this prompts us to avoid viewing these people as potential mates for fear of producing defective offspring. That being said, we humans are not like big cats, prisoners of our own hard-wiring. In fact, the ability to consistently overcome prejudices planted by "natural selection" is what makes us unique among animals and has enabled us to advance to our present level. -- Thinking it Out, Winnipeg

Dear Thinking: Once some people are past first mating age and have created their children and the marriage has failed because of incompatibility, one would hope the instinctive unions made for biological health and survival would abate, and mating for sweeter compatibilities would take over. Maybe this is the first generation where that can routinely happen. A lot of people on their second or third marriages know what it is to suffer with a good-looking but incompatible partner for them. That's when they open their minds and hearts to people who are suited to them on the inside.

 

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition October 16, 2013 D4

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