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Ditch dud who takes lecherous dad's side

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I went to the lake with my boyfriend's family for the first time and it was a shock. I had only met them once before. My boyfriend's father got quite drunk on Saturday night and when everybody but he and I were still playing poker, we went out and sat on the deck under the stars. He started talking to me about how difficult his marriage was and warned me not to get married. He said, "Marriage takes the fun and the passion out of love."

I told him his son and I have only been dating a short time and we didn't know what would happen. Then he pulled his chair closer and before I knew it, he had his hand on my thigh. I jumped out of the chair and ran inside. The next day he acted like nothing had happened, so I didn't say anything to upset everyone. On the way home, I told my boyfriend and he more or less called me a liar. He said, "You must have been really drunk to imagine that. My dad would never do that to you -- or to my mother." What should I do now? -- Shocked & Not Believed, Winnipeg

 

Dear Shocked: Say a quick bye-bye to this guy. You told the truth about his father's lecherous behaviour and he chose to look the other way and call you a liar. Some women would have told the father off and stormed into the cabin to tell their boyfriend, even if it meant packing and leaving that night with the cabin in an uproar. That's not you, so you need to get away from this entire family. Your boyfriend may have been in shock and denial when you told him what happened, but that doesn't excuse his taking his father's side and not being protective of you. Life in this family would be bad for you, so back out of the relationship right now.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm in love with the cutest little dog breed and have photos all over my desk as a hint to my husband. One month has turned into five, and Valentine's Day and my birthday went by and I still don't see any puppy in our house. When I talk about getting a dog, my husband says, "Sounds great! I'll have to get you one," and gets all enthusiastic but he doesn't make any move at all to do it. Should I just go out and buy one? -- Losing My Patience!, St. Boniface

 

Dear Losing: You can't just go out and buy one without asking your husband to be clear about whether he also wants to have a dog in the house right now. Maybe it's too soon for him. Just like deciding when you're ready to have a baby -- a cute baby that's lots of work -- you have to decide when you're ready to have a puppy that needs training and walking, will chew up your shoes for a while and bark.

When you're both ready, you should go together to get a dog, choose one you both like and put your money down together for the purchase. You're acting like your husband is your parent. Start acting like an equal and things will go better for this project and any other big responsibilities you take on.

 

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 5, 2014 A1

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