DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My dog has been there for me through my whole horrible dating "career" of 12 unlucky years. I am now with a guy who loves being with me, but barely tolerates my dog, who used to sleep at the foot of my bed quietly, not bothering anybody. I thought I loved this new man, but as weeks go on, he has removed the dog from my bedroom, to the living room, to the kitchen, and now locks my dog in the back porch at night. I can hear him crying out there. Last night, after this guy and I had sex, I went to the porch and snuck open the door to the yard. My dog and I tiptoed out and I sat in a chair with his head on my lap, looking at the moon. Poor thing only has a few years left. Why would I let him cry at night like that? I went back in the house, woke the gorgeous man in my bed and asked him to leave. He said, "Over a damn dog? You must be nuts!" Am I nuts to do this? -- Love My Old Doggie, Windsor Park
Dear Love My Doggie: You are right and smart to make this move, albeit a little slow. You can do better than to let a guy take over your power and mistreat your pet. The beast in your bed may have been gorgeous, but he's unkind to your true best friend -- a vulnerable old dog. This man is cold-hearted, selfish and arrogant. You shouldn't be sneaking around your own house, afraid of this man's censure if he wakes up. If he can be that unkind to an old dog, he can be that mean to a child, and to you one day. Say good riddance to him!
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate myself up to a humongous weight and then lost it through a program we won't mention here. Now I have too much skin for my body and I want my husband to shell out some plastic surgery money so I have a normal, attractive body again. He's fat himself -- and rich, but cheap -- and says, "Hey, you're just going to have to wait because inevitably you're going to fill up that skin again. Everybody gains the weight back, and you're weak so you won't be any different." -- Shot Down in Flames, West End
Dear Shot Down: Take responsibility for yourself and don't involve him and his bad attitude. See your doctor about the weight you lost. If the pendulous skin on the abdomen is causing medical problems, you may be able to get help through medicare for that area. The situation, of course, is different if you want to pay for it yourself here in Canada or anywhere in the world. We should also talk about the bigger problem: your husband's "change back" attitude. Don't give in to him. He wants you to be fat again and is likely to try many ways to sabotage you with discouraging remarks and by putting fattening food and drink within your reach. It happens. Insist you get some counselling together. "Change back" situations can rip couples apart, as they involve toxic emotions such as jealousy, resentment, anger and disappointment over non-support and sabotage.
Questions or comments? Please email email@example.com or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, R2X 3B6