DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Why would a man want a woman who gets angry, and then tells her he thinks she looks "hot" when she gets angry, which only makes her get angrier? What does he want from me? I love this lawyer madly and want to marry him one day, but he is strange on this point. He is always very amorous afterwards, and I mean right afterwards. I find fighting upsetting, because I am sincerely angry. He can't even remember what the fight was about (he usually picked it over nothing) and caves right under on anything for the makeup sex afterwards. I don't like this. It's giving me hives every time. -- Freaking Out, St. Vital
Dear Freaking: This man would probably like to play-act an angry scene, which would be easier on you than getting truly angry. Ask him if he's like to do some role playing involving an angry female character, and watch his eyes. They will probably light up. Then you are in charge. Check out The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance by Lorelei, Berkana Press to find out which roles you would enjoy playing from irate cowgirl catching a poacher to female pirate accosting her prey. You could have some fun telling him off and he will enjoy your flashing eyes -- and all the rest of the scene -- but you must agree to those details first.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My fiancée figures she has to tell the father of her 10-year-old son "in person" that she's moving from one location in Winnipeg to another.
She and the father have been split up for eight years. He doesn�t know where she lives now, just the general area. Where we are moving to,is not much further away from where she is now and her son is staying in the same school. Is it OK for me to say that I don�t believe that it is necessary to meet in person, that phone or email should be sufficient? I will let her do what she feels is right, and I trust her. I just think it is odd! I told my ex that we are moving over the phone. I have an eight-year-old daughter with my ex. My fiancée freaked out on me today for suggesting in a calm manner that it isn't necessary to meet. Thank You. -- Concerned Fiancé, Winnipeg
Dear Concerned Fiancé: The big question is why she wants to see this ex in person, all of a sudden? For some reason he was not allowed in her sight for years. Was it a question of violence? If her child's dad doesn't know the exact address of his daughter and ex-wife to date, there's no need for him to know about the change. Something fishy is going on, and you need to get to the bottom of it. Take the accent off the child in the next conversation, and courageously address her wanting to see her ex again in person. Why?
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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I are separated, but in 29 years of marriage we never once argued about money. Our system was perfect -- it was created by and managed by my wife. We each had our own accounts, and a common account. Our paycheques were directly deposited into our individual accounts. We would transfer funds from our individual accounts to the common account for expenses like food and housing and joint vacations. Contributions to the common account were based on income. If my income was 20% higher than my wife's, for every $100 she put into the common account, I would put $120. This is fair because in a single-income household, 100% of the expenses will be borne by the income-earning partner. With respect to our individual accounts we could use the funds however we wished. They could be invested or saved or spent, at the exclusive discretion of the owner of the account. There was no reason for my wife to be angry if I decided to blow my money on things she disagreed with, and vice versa. It's a great system. I recommend it for every couple just starting out together -- J. Holtom, Ottawa
Dear J.H. Thanks for the great financial advice all the way from Ottawa. Nice to know the Winnipeg Free Press is in on your reading list. Need any help with your separation problems now?