DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Please don't think I'm weak. I can usually hold up without blubbering, but the guy I thought was in love with me is cheating on me with his old girlfriend. He told me his boss had changed his shift. Not true in the least, as it turns out!
His old girlfriend is keeping him overnight, working him hard. She is the one who was so nasty to him and belittled his penis size and fought with his mother. Last weekend he was seen parked at her place all night by my closest friend, who had heard the rumour and went looking because she cares. I am not angry at her for spying, and grateful for the truth, even though it's horrible. When I confronted him, he didn't even try to deny it.
He whined, "What can I say? I love her more, I will always love her, and she says she wants me back. I have to explore this. If it doesn't work out, I'll call you, OK?" And like a big sucker, I didn't say "No, get lost." What now? -- Broken-Hearted Sucker
Dear Broken: Are you really willing to be "on call" if the one he really loves doesn't work out again? According to him, his "true love" could come back between boyfriends or husbands, yank his chain, and get him back any old time. What kind of guy has the nerve to make that offer? Maybe the problem is not all the other woman. This guy has well-developed jerk tendencies of his own -- lying, cheating, offering you leftovers.
Get up and get mad and find a counsellor ASAP to talk all this out in detail. Relationship counsellors and psychologists will see people on an emergency basis. You need to talk to someone with more skills and less emotional investment than friends and family. Those close to you can always offer a choir of backup curses and sympathetic pats, but right now you need a rebuilt backbone and a new plan.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have been getting Facebook hits from a former girlfriend of mine from high school. I am single and so is she. I can see by her picture she is still beautiful as ever, but I'm not. I have a pot belly and I lost my hair. She probably remembers me as the football guy with the hard body and lots of blond hair. She says she wants to meet me and I can't stand the thought of her looking at me with disappointment in her eyes. I am divorced and unhappily single and frankly lonely, though I have a great job with lots of nice work friends. I have no photo showing anywhere on my Facebook. What should I do? -- Not her Football Hero
Dear Not Her Hero: How do you know she hasn't managed to find a photo of you? Motivated female Facebook sleuths can Google photos of old sweethearts, just like that, and from a variety of stages in their lives, too.
Write her back playfully (not apologetically, which is so unsexy) and ask her if she's seen a photo of you lately. Tell her you know it's careless of you but you lost your hair, and you forgot the directions to the gym. She probably had a great photo taken of herself where she sits on her figure problems.
What have you got to lose? The cost of drinks and dinner and, perhaps, if all goes well, your loneliness. This is when you make yourself take a chance -- right now.
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