Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Don't skirt the issue with your flagrant flasher

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: There's this girl at school who keeps giving me "accidental' looks at her panties. She wears very short skirts and she is not shy. I find it hard to concentrate on what the teacher is saying but I am not going to tell anybody. I don't want what she is offering because she is offering it too publicly. I used to like her back in Grade 8, but now I am in Grade 11 and I have other options that won't get me a disease. What words should I say to her to get her to quit without being rude and mean? I am a quiet kind of guy, but I don't take crap and she is constantly teasing me with this. -- Had Enough, Winnipeg

Dear Had Enough: Don't put anything on paper or online, to keep it private. Next time she does it, shake your head and simply say quietly, "I'm not interested." If that doesn't work and she keeps flashing you, be bolder and say, "Please spare me the view up your skirt. I am not interested." Don't use a mean voice, just a serious one, so she doesn't take it as flirting and try even harder. Some people don't take a hint when their ego's on the line.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was out on a first date with a guy I met online at a steakhouse, and very nervous. I really wanted to make an impression. When I stabbed the steak with my fork to cut it, I lifted it way up while talking to my date and dropped the entire thing off side of the plate onto the table. He laughed and stabbed it with his fork and said, "It's trying to get away!" and dumped it back on my plate. Three minutes later I spilled a whole glass of red wine across the table and onto him, but he didn't take that so well. It ran onto his pants. I got too nervous to make good conversation and kind of went quiet. He hasn't called back. Should I call him? -- Big Spill at 42, Downtown

Dear Spill: You could call him just once to talk to him and offer to pay for his drycleaning, if you can keep it light and not be nervous again. It would actually be best to step back for a few weeks and get some relationship counselling around nervousness with men you like and want to impress. Most people have no trouble with nervousness on dates with the boring people who don't excite them, but could do with skills for succeeding when it counts. Oddly enough, books on sales and "cold calling" can be most helpful for combatting nervousness on first meetings with dates.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 27, 2013 C4

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