Good morning, Winnipeg. Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and you know what that means, right?
It means it's time for another Really Romantic Weekend Weather Forecast you can clip out and hand to your beloved in case you forgot to buy a cheesy greeting card and a heart-shaped box of chocolates.
For starters, Winnipeg, have I mentioned how good you are looking these days? Seriously, have you lost weight? I saw you from across the room and (insert heavy breathing here) you took my breath away.
As I sit here at my office computer, heart pounding, pulse racing, sweat trickling down my fevered brow, I am reminded of how much our love is like the weather. (OK, I'm exaggerating, but work with me.)
Sure, sometimes you're a little cold toward me, but lately I've sensed a serious warming trend. For instance, Environment Canada says today we can look forward to a few sensuous clouds and a sultry daytime high of -4 C, well above the prudish normal high of -9 C at this love-intensive time of year.
On Sunday, Winnipeg, the R-rated forecast calls for a high of -6 C and a few gentle flurries, which means you can wear that sexy tuque I knit for you. Just the thought of you wearing that gets my Prairie juices flowing.
What I'm trying to say here, my Sweet Baboo, is that our love, like the weather, will be well above average pretty much all week. I confess that on Valentine's Day, the temperature should dip to -10 C, but that means nothing to legendary romantics such as us as we stay safe and warm, entwined in the burning passion of our all-encompassing love.
The important thing, Winnipeg, is that we do not hide our love under a bushel, whatever a bushel happens to be. We must shout our devotion to the masses, which we can do today at the annual one-day Winter Carnival at Varsity View Community Centre, 315 Laxdal Rd., featuring sleigh rides, a ring toss, cookie decorating and a social with a jam-pail curling tournament. Be still, my heart.
If that doesn't sound romantic enough, Winnipeg, let's rock our world by heading to Osborne Village this evening for the 24-hour bicycle relay in support of the Heart and Stroke Foundation. The 24 hours of fun kicks off at 6 p.m. at Snap Fitness, 205 Osborne St.
I can sense the fires of your love burning brightly, but we are not done yet. On Sunday, we must bundle up in our parkas and broadcast our love by heading to the Living Prairie Museum, 2795 Ness Ave., for the fourth annual Snow Trek from noon to 4 p.m.
Get ready to feel frisky, because we're talking about cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, urban poling (which I hope we can mention in a family newspaper), geocaching and sitting around a campfire sucking down cups of free hot chocolate while listening to a voyageur family sharing stories. Catch me before I swoon, my love.
So, I wish you an early happy Valentine's Day, Winnipeg. You are the mustard in my ham sandwich. You are the peanut butter to my jelly. You are the spaghetti to my meatballs. And you are definitely the high-pressure system in my weekend forecast.
Because you've got my mercury rising.