Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Embrace your luscious size, then he will too

  • Print

DEAR MS. LONELYHEARTS: Where do big women go to meet men in this province? Yes, I'm a big woman, but I'm active and take good care of myself. I have tried online dating on and off over the last few years, but most men I meet there want just a "friends with benefits" situation, or are looking for someone to take care of them.

I'm 37, with two older teenage boys, am generally happy with my life, but it would be nice to meet someone. I volunteer in Winnipeg, go to events there regularly and meet lots of interesting people, and many attached males (which are hands off).

I'd describe myself as friendly, average looking, and approachable. I don't get it. Is it my size? Does the fact that I'm a large, 5-foot-9 woman intimidate them that much? Your advice? -- Single and a Little Lonely, The Country

Dear Lonely: Your size is only intimidating if you put it out there apologetically, or you hide it. A proactive ad looking for a "big guy" could do the trick. Yes, there may be size jokes from a few goofs, but go on to clarify you want "big hands, big heart, big sense of humour." Rather than defending or apologizing for your size, look for a guy who's tall (a short, slight guy won't do) and who's up for a woman like you.

You should say you offer big things too -- generous heart, big curves, outgoing, entertaining, big friendliness, and tall enough for a basketball or football player. Tell them to stop looking for the sample sizes, because you're the real thing. If you're outgoing, say, "I can be a handful!" Guys who like your type will step up laughing and say, "I've got big hands!" It becomes a happy challenge.

NEVER apologize that you're a big girl! Put it right out there. Look, you haven't made a big effort to be a tall beanpole when there are methods out there to do so, so it's time to consciously embrace that you are happy being a big, tall, luscious lady.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I hurt my mother's feelings very badly when I called her an "aging hooker." I'm afraid she may never talk to me again. It hurt her because it's the truth. She was uneducated and alone, and that's how she got the money together to raise us kids.

I was furious the other night because she'd been gambling and she hasn't got enough money to be doing that and there were no groceries in her fridge. I wanted to put her down, because I was angry. She was telling me to back off, that she'd spend what money she has any way she wants now us kids are raised. How do we get past this fight? I do love her and she loves me. She never had any men near the house, and never let us come to harm. -- Words as Weapons, West End

Dear Words: Handwritten letters are unusual these days, so write her a letter of apology in your personal script. Tell her how much you love her, and recognize how difficult it must have been in early days. Thank her for never letting you come to harm, and say you're sorry for your mean words, that you really don't think of her in a bad way and you love her. Come over with flowers a day later to see her, and give her a big hug and say, "I'm so sorry, Mom." Mothers love so deeply they are pretty good at forgiving when a "child" of any age is truly sorry.

On a future visit subtly leave behind a pamphlet on problem gambling help in Winnipeg. The "flowers visit" would not be the time -- too soon.


Please send your questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 28, 2014 C2

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Rumor's 30th Anniversary with Mike Wilmot, Darryl Lenox, Dave Hemstad & Derek Edwards

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A goose comes in for a landing Thursday morning through heavy fog on near Hyw 59 just north of Winnipeg - Day 17 Of Joe Bryksa’s 30 day goose challenge - May 24, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • A baby Red Panda in her area at the Zoo. International Red Panda Day is Saturday September 15th and the Assiniboine Park Zoo will be celebrating in a big way! The Zoo is home to three red pandas - Rufus, Rouge and their cub who was born on June 30 of this year. The female cub has yet to be named and the Assiniboine Park Zoo is asking the community to help. September 14, 2012  BORIS MINKEVICH / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

Would you visit Dalnavert Museum if it reopened?

View Results

Ads by Google