DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife didn't like the first sniff of my mother. She barely tolerated her and seemed like a creature held back on a leash until the wedding was a done deal. Months later, her tongue is very sharp. She's snarky and cold when she's forced to see mom and excludes her from holiday celebrations. I'm not asking for full-out love of my mother, but for God's sake, can we not invite her to Thanksgiving next year? Maybe Christmas this year?
To see my mother now, I have to go alone, and my young wife (by 18 years) is jealous and phoning my cell every 15 minutes to see when I'm coming home. I promised to love her and be true to her in the wedding ceremony, but not love her only, with no love left over for my family, friends or my sweet old mom. I'm cold-angry as I write this. I have already left two wives and I can leave this one, too! She doesn't seem to realize that, as she's never been married before. -- Won't Abandon My Mother, St. Boniface
Dear Won't: Why would you take on a "creature" guaranteed to be nasty to your mother the minute she was off leash? You knew this was coming and you married her anyway. Something's "hinky" here, as detectives would say. Does mama have a vicious side, too? You and your wife both need counselling help for different reasons, unless the truth is you like to have a reason to get free as soon as you can after you've married. Is momma really a pit bull with lipstick? You need to look internally, and learn the truth about your own motives, Mister.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I can't stand the way my nanny kisses our son. It is too close to the lips, kind of a corner swipe of the mouth thing. It's just feels wrong. He looks a little weirded out and pulls away and she'll says, "Don't be like that with your nanny who loves you." She's here from another country and doesn't know many people yet. I think she's lonely and lacks affection, but I fear she's being too familiar with my oldest son in this way. He is 10. -- Worried About Kisses, South End
Dear Worried: Talk to your son openly and try to find out how he feels about this lady as his nanny. If he's uncomfortable, as you suspect, she has to go. You can't take chances with kids. That being said, this may be cultural thing, not a sexual thing, Nevertheless, the nanny is in Canada now and she needs new cultural customs explained to her. Tell her your boy doesn't want to be kissed or kiss back and there will can be no more of it.
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