DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm hot for the janitor of my school and I am the school secretary in the office. I know this is not supposed to happen, but he and I are shooting sparks every time we see each other, which is quite often throughout a normal day. It seems I have a lot of things to talk about with him and he comes up with a lot of useless questions, to talk to me. He is my age, good-looking and separated. We have not met outside school yet, but that's coming. I can feel it!
I realize I still have a husband, but that hasn't been a real marriage for years -- we have separate bedrooms and haven't had sex for eight years. I think he has had other women. The last kid just left home in September for college in another province. So where does that leave me? I love my job and can't lose it, but I have already "lost it" over this gorgeous man. It feels like my body is right out of control. -- S.O.S., Winnipeg
Dear S.O.S.: The heat coming off your letter says the loss of control is going to be sooner rather than later. So you need to get yourself separated, too. But do you really want to be free of your husband? Or, are you just looking to get a little taste of some fun, with a side dish of revenge?
Now, let's talk about how that affects keeping your job. If you're dabbling with the janitor, you'll be in far less trouble once it's out you're a couple if you're single and free. All adults in a school are expected to be decent role models. So make up your mind. If you want to end your marriage and start seeing this man, see a lawyer and set the wheels in motion.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I know you can't set people up on dates for safety's sake, but I just wanted to say the country man you wrote about seems like an excellent fit for me, and likely lots of other women. As a 30-year-old who has recently gone through a very hard break up, I know it can feel terrible when you love everything but one aspect of your partner. Tell him to keep looking, because there are women who would love his lifestyle. Thanks. -- Country Lovin' Gal, Manitoba
Dear Country Lovin' Gal: We've hit a steamin' hot button here: I have received lots of letters from great people who live in the country and love it, but are having a horrible time finding people to fall in love with. Finding love is a particular problem for people who have bought or inherited farms since past high school there are not a lot of single people around. Farming is a sophisticated business, so young people leave to take degrees in agriculture, science and/or business before returning to the farm they love. Returning can be very lonely if you don't return with a partner.
If there are romances, they are hard to keep private, which is important in the tentative beginning stages. I know this dynamic to be true. I grew up in Manitou and there were not a lot of single people around, although there were a lot at Holiday Mountain ski resort in the winter. Please write in with anything you know about places to meet rural singles -- whether it's social clubs, rural chat lines, forums. etc. -- and be specific about locations. Please share, and we'll publish everything in an upcoming column. Let's make this a warm, romantic winter for singles all over the province.
Please send questions or comments c/o firstname.lastname@example.org or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6