DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new steady girlfriend of four months can't get past chastising me for having a dog whose tail was docked "thereby condoning the butchering practice." I don't know why she is going on and on about this. There is nothing we can do to put the tail back. She is all about animal protection, but doesn't actually care to have any animals of her own, or even pet my dog, unless he butts his head up under her hand. When I was going to be away overnight on business recently, she was off work that week, so I asked if she could stop by and feed my dog, let him out to do his business in the yard and perhaps take him for a walk or two. She said it was "too much to ask." I sense a disconnect here, but I have been so involved with her sexually my mind has been kind of fuzzy. Tell me what is wrong with this picture, please. -- Lust-Blinded Pet Lover, St. Boniface
Dear Lust-Blinded: You and this woman are not a match, no matter how great the sex is. You need to get past this frantic lust and let this relationship fizzle. Why? She would not make a good wife/long-term partner. Though it may seem premature to think about that, it's a good way to decide if you want to invest energy in a relationship with a serious built-in problem. This woman is an issue-driven person where animals are concerned, but doesn't have an emotional attachment for them. Dogs are a touch-and-love pet that require work and attention. Perhaps your new interest could work with a fish tank, but a needy, fuzzy, sometimes messy, often hungry dog who needs to go for walks, take poops and have the mess picked up, is definitely not her thing. Allow that reality to slip into your lust-filled mind then think about purposefully looking for a woman who's warm and earthy and as likely to be out walking a pooch before work, as you are.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm dead lonely in the city and thinking of moving back home, although where will I find someone single to love in a small town? I have a computer-based job where I can work from anywhere, so here is my dilemma: I could move to my first choice of a small town -- my hometown where I know everyone -- which is beautiful, but there are few, if any, single women there. Or, I could move to a bigger town I know, which is not as beautiful and means nothing to me, but might have a few single women around. Either way, I gotta move. I have a country soul. -- Country in my Soul, Winnipeg
Dear Country: Think "import" and start expecting greatness, instead of failure. There's no point moving to another place you don't really want to be. All this dating and mating project requires is diligence on the computer and willingness to jump into your vehicle and travel several nights a week. Quickly move to the place where you really want to live -- your hometown -- and get busy on that computer meeting every single country-loving woman you can find within 150 kilometres. How? Be vocal about your love of country living, citing examples of what you like to do to enjoy it. Meet country-loving women in their safe home territories at points of historical or geographical interest that you research online. It beats meeting them in their local restaurants with the townsfolk whispering. You can easily find tourist information at the Explore Manitoba Centre at The Forks and learn everything there is to know about all the little towns in Manitoba. Once your research is done and you're in the process of moving, get on three personals sites at once and post happy photos of you taken outside in the fresh country air. Invest six months on the project at full tilt and please get back with your dating progress.
Please send your questions or comments c/o firstname.lastname@example.org or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg R2X 3B6