DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I got this terrible itch at the lake from not looking where I was sitting and then had to go to the doctor for poison ivy. It is stinkin' hot in the house and that makes me crabby. Then along comes my husband every few hours, who for some reason, finds hot weather sexy and wants some action -- but I'm not into it. He could get my poison ivy, too, the fool. Also, my son and his girlfriend, who live in the basement, are always fighting. Finally, I told her she had to treat my son with respect or move out, and now they're both mad at me. I want to run away to my mom's for a week in the country where there is an air conditioner. Is it selfish to leave the family in the heat? -- Going Freakin' Crazy Here! Downtown
Dear Crazy: By all means go home to mom and don't feel guilty. Everybody will be the better for it. Experts say a couple should have a week away from each other a couple of times a year, just to "air out" the relationship. Just think -- in one swoop you could get rid of your hubby's sexual demands, the hot city house, your fighting son and daughter-outlaw and heal your poison ivy in peace. Heaven! Do it, without apology. They may be secretly glad to see you go.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: At the beach I saw this young neighbour of mine go in the lake and struggle around until she had her whole bathing suit off so she could swim naked. Then a big wave knocked her sideways and she lost her suit from her hand. I saw her distress. So I, a big guy in my 40s, went down to the edge of the water with my giant towel and held it up. She knew what I meant, so she swam in under the water and jumped into the towel. I told her to take the towel home. I know the ways of that water and found her suit the next morning snagged on a rock off to the side. When I took the suit to her and asked for my towel back, she acted creeped out. What did I do wrong? -- Just a Guy, Winnipeg
Dear Just a Guy: "Thank you for the rescue," would have been much more appropriate, but she's young. You saw her naked coming out of the water, and in her mind, she thinks that was a big deal to you. It wasn't. You did her a kind turn and she should have been gracious. Instead, she was awkward and made you feel weird. Don't feel bad. You did the right thing for her, twice, Superman.
Questions or comments? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, R2X 3B6