17°c Partly cloudy
12°c Cloudy with showers
Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Go with your gut feeling, look elsewhere for love
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm 18 and met a sweet girl at a party who's attached to a lot of people I know. We went for coffee part way through the party because we were so attracted and wanted to talk and hold hands. It turns out the reason we know so many people in common is she's actually the new best friend of my ex's younger sister. My ex-girlfriend was not at this party, nor was her sister. I really got treated poorly by my ex and her family after their daughter dumped me. They cut me right out of their lives. I really missed the family, and thought we were close, but it was a quick chop, onwards and upwards, and she had another guy three weeks later. I really like this new girl I met, but I'm afraid I could be wandering into a painful situation. What do you think? -- Worried, Winnipeg
Dear Worried: Go with your gut feeling. There are lots of sweet single girls out there in their late teens. There's no need for you to get into a hurtful situation where your presence will be questioned and you will feel uncomfortable and awkward. So try to back off this girl, and go looking in another direction. Relationships are hard enough without built-in problems right from the start. Wherever possible, it's nice to be surrounded by friendly people who want you around.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm a little surprised you'd find something wrong with a woman protecting herself by checking into a man before going on a date. The dating game has changed a lot. With the onset of dating sites, came the awareness that there are a lot of creeps out there. It wasn't that long ago that when someone asked you out you already knew a little about them or you could ask someone else about their character. I refuse to believe that you would have accepted a date from a man you just met without doing some checking with friends or colleagues. My sister was asked out by a man who seemed perfectly nice, had a good job and no "red flags," she checked him out on The Court Of Queen's Bench and found out he had multiple restraining orders against him. Protecting yourself doesn't show a "need for control" as you put it, it just means you're not stupid. -- Insulted On Her Behalf, Winnipeg
Dear Insulted: There are degrees of caution and protection a person should take. One dinner in a public place with a 32-year-old local teacher she'd met in person, is not very risky especially since teachers must be checked out. A date with a guy who has wives/girlfriends/children in his past who won't have anything to do with him is another thing. Often, first dates are casual information-gathering events, there's no real spark, and it leads to nothing. If she wanted to start dating him regularly (and he was interested) that would be the time to check, especially if he seemed secretive or if his life story didn't hang together, or he showed anger (even road rage) or mood swings. This is a small city where people tend to know people who know people, and yes, you can do criminal checks and should do them in some cases. But, this woman's stand-offish reply of "maybe" and further explanation that she would be getting him checked out before he got an answer back about dinner, was hostile. How would you like a guy to tell you he'd have to get YOU checked out out before he had a simple dinner with you?
lovecoach@hotmail.com
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 26, 2012 C3
More Columnists
- Back to Top
- Return to Columnists
More Columnists
(1 of 5 articles for today)
To call 'Cliffy' a character doesn't do him justice
1:00 AM 0
Poll
Most Popular Columnists
- Changes to CPP rules worth looking into
- Negotiate deal with your wife that works for both of you
- Vigneault will be a man in demand
- To call 'Cliffy' a character doesn't do him justice
- You can bet the farm on housebarns
- Buck 'goes long' for Winnipeg
- Burmistrov wants out of Winnipeg
- Don't wear yourself out trying to win her back
- Blame ad by mayor, deputy for jeopardizing money-saver
- Harper needs to quit hiding behind his staff
- Burmistrov wants out of Winnipeg
- A new mom's booze-fuelled hell
- Katz bogeys again
- 'It's a beautiful story': There's not always a tomorrow to say you're sorry or make things right
- Harper needs to quit hiding behind his staff
- Political opportunity knocks to abolish Senate
- Tell husband you're not talking to her... maybe tell him why
- Tell the building manager and the peep show will end
- Vigneault will be a man in demand
- Big Blue will have one helluva punter
- Burmistrov wants out of Winnipeg
- Goodbye, Susan; a privilege to know you
- Twins are theirs, but province doesn't agree
- Bun Brouhaha: Kitchen staff's snap firing worthy of reality TV
- Beloved piece of Winnipeg's music history deserves better
- A new mom's booze-fuelled hell
- Facebook pokes Manitoba
- Katz bogeys again
- Dugouts could change the game
- Winter is coming
- Changes to CPP rules worth looking into
- Not much fun at this Carnaval
- You can bet the farm on housebarns
- 'It's a beautiful story': There's not always a tomorrow to say you're sorry or make things right
- Changes to CPP rules worth looking into
- A new mom's booze-fuelled hell
- Tick season means pets at risk of Lyme disease
- Burmistrov wants out of Winnipeg
- Not much fun at this Carnaval
- Mount Carmel Clinic: An oasis of acceptance in a judgmental world
- Katz bogeys again
- Harper needs to quit hiding behind his staff
- Granddaddy of the mock doc takes to TV
- Twins are theirs, but province doesn't agree
- 'It's a beautiful story': There's not always a tomorrow to say you're sorry or make things right
- Bun Brouhaha: Kitchen staff's snap firing worthy of reality TV
- Dugouts could change the game
- Happily selling shoes at age 89
- Facebook pokes Manitoba
- White sucker right for Manitoba
- New Blue stadium lives up to the hype; now it's up to you
- Changes to CPP rules worth looking into
- Selinger's ability to sell case weak link in tax-hike plan
Ads by Google
You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is register and/or login and you can join the conversation and give your feedback.
Have Your Say
New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.
The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.