Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Grandfather's ghost booing your illicit affair

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I saw something terrifying when I looked in the mirror last night. It was a ghost standing behind me looking over my shoulder from a distance. I have never believed in ghosts in my whole life, but this person was known to me -- my dead grandfather -- and he was standing behind me shaking his finger in warning. I'm not a kid anymore, but I felt like a very bad girl as he was doing this.

I know why he was doing it. Back in my bedroom was a man who is my lover, but is married to my cousin. I know that's terrible, but she doesn't sleep with him any more and I'm lonely and he's a sweet guy. I want to defy the ghost, but I'm shaken. My grandfather knows how dangerous my affair is. He got into an affair and lost his whole family because of it, even his daughter -- my mother. Am I imagining things? It was a little misty in the mirror, but it was definitely my grandpa I never saw again after he got kicked out of the family. What should I do? Is it real or just a figment of my imagination? -- Freaking Out, North End

Dear Freaking Out: If you had been napping and this was the middle of a dream sequence, or if there really was a "ghost," the same message is coming through. You're feeling guilty and worried about your affair, especially since it's within the family. You know the consequences everyone suffered over your grandpa's affair. The vivid memories of your grandfather is bringing all this up. So, stop taking the same chance your grandfather took, which ended with his losing many people he loved including grandchildren like you.

By the way, the guy you're sneaking around with is "weak" not "sweet." Those are two very different concepts often confused by people who are lonely and lust-blinded. If he were truly sweet, he would have worked it out with his wife or parted honourably instead of cheating on her.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate so much at a dinner with my new girlfriend, she said, "There's something wrong with you." Hey, I was up for a pig-out and I found out she's a great cook. I went back for second and third helpings and could barely do anything but watch TV and sleep the rest of the night. I do a have a weight problem. I'm only about 30 pounds overweight now, but I was 85 pounds overweight before I went to my weight-loss group. I was pretty fat. I'm 19. I lost the weight so I'd be more attractive to girls, and it worked. My girlfriend says she's afraid I'm going to stop losing now because she cooks so well. Before we went to sleep she said she wasn't cooking for me any more. Isn't that extreme? -- Food Lover, St. Boniface

Dear Food Lover: Extreme or not, this girl is determined not to have a re-fattened boyfriend. You freaked her out with one of your old-style pig-outs. Could you have been testing your girlfriend, as in, "Will you still love me if I overeat like this and become obese again because you're such a good cook?" See the convenient blame off-load in that thought process?

You've been warned: If her cooking for you causes you to make a U-turn and gain back the weight she is not going to join you on that journey. You need to have a serious talk with your weight-loss leader and discuss the reason you pigged out in front of this young woman to the point where you could barely move, let alone have a sexy evening. Also, talk to your doctor about referring you to a psychiatrist to work out your deepest reasons for overeating.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I must have walked 100 miles this last weekend because I found out my wife has a relationship with her old lover -- a guy -- she has been hiding. My wife and I are a lesbian couple. I knew something was up, so I went through her drawers. There I found a printed-off email love letter, dated (last) month, under her socks in her second drawer. What was she thinking? Does she want to start seeing him again? His last sentence was "We have to keep seeing each other because, as you said to me last week, we will never stop loving one other." What now? -- Broken-Hearted, Winnipeg

Dreams Shattered: The 100-mile walks accomplish nothing except to make you tired enough to get through another night. Just hand your wife the letter and say, "We have to talk about this. You go first." No answer? Say: "It's obvious you've started seeing your old boyfriend." She may deny everything, in which case ask her to see a relationship counsellor with you where the truth will inevitably come out. Also ask her why she saved the letter -- open like that -- in a place that could be so easily found. She may break down and confess she wants out of your marriage. Then you need professional help. Breaking up a marriage still hurts terribly, but a good counsellor can give you tools to make the hurting shorter.

 

Please send your questions and comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition October 1, 2013 D4

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

In the Key of Bart: Can’t It Be Nice This Time?

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A baby Red Panda in her area at the Zoo. International Red Panda Day is Saturday September 15th and the Assiniboine Park Zoo will be celebrating in a big way! The Zoo is home to three red pandas - Rufus, Rouge and their cub who was born on June 30 of this year. The female cub has yet to be named and the Assiniboine Park Zoo is asking the community to help. September 14, 2012  BORIS MINKEVICH / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS
  • A female Mallard duck leads a group of duckings on a morning swim through the reflections in the Assiniboine River at The Forks Monday.     (WAYNE GLOWACKI/WINNIPEG FREE PRESS) Winnipeg Free Press  June 18 2012

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

What are you most looking forward to this Easter weekend?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google