Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

In the Key of Bart

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Blowin' blowin' gone in the wind

With apologies to Bob Dylan

 

How many logs can a man cart away

Before someone sees that they're gone?

How many trees can be snatched in plain sight

Before there's a space on the lawn?

Yes, how many timbers can just disappear

Before you can tell something's wrong?

The answer, you see, is down in St. B

There's a fort guarded by Cheech & Chong

 

Yes, how many poles can a thief take offsite

Before he will fill up his van?

Or maybe he sent them downstream on the Red

Like a freshwater beachcomber man?

Yes, how many times did the Festival staff

Fail to notice Gibraltar got sacked?

The answer my friend: They ain't seen nuthin'

No one noticed they got lumber-jacked

 

Now how many times can a festival ask

The feds and the province for cash?

And how many times will a grant be approved

To attach some old trees with a lash?

Now what will the folks at the festival do

In the future when they buy more logs?

The answer ain't hard, 'cause it's in the cards:

Fort Gibraltar needs un chien de garde

 

Adapted, poorly, from Blowin' In the Wind, written by Bob Dylan in 1962.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 24, 2013 D2

History

Updated on Saturday, August 24, 2013 at 9:13 AM CDT: adds video

9:14 AM: adds image

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About Bartley Kives

Bartley Kives wants you to know his last name rhymes with Beavis, as in Beavis and Butthead. He aspires to match the wit, grace and intelligence of the 1990s cartoon series.

Bartley joined the Free Press in 1998 as a music critic. He spent the ensuing 7.5 years interviewing the likes of Neil Young and David Bowie and trying to stay out of trouble at the Winnipeg Folk Festival before deciding it was far more exciting to sit through zoning-variance appeals at city hall.

In 2006, Bartley followed Winnipeg Mayor Sam Katz from the music business into civic politics. He spent seven years covering city hall from a windowless basement office.

He is now reporter-at-large for the Free Press and also writes an outdoor-recreation column called Offroad for the Outdoors page.

A canoeist, backpacker and food geek, Bartley is fond of conventional and wilderness travel. He is the author of A Daytripper’s Guide to Manitoba: Exploring Canada’s Undiscovered Province, the only comprehensive travel guidebook for Manitoba – and a Canadian bestseller, to boot. He is also co-author of Stuck In The Middle: Dissenting Views of Winnipeg, a collaboration with photographer Bryan Scott.

Bartley appears every second Wednesday on CityTV’s Breakfast Television. His work has also appeared on CBC Radio and in publications such as National Geographic Traveler, explore magazine and Western Living.

Born in Winnipeg, he has an arts degree from the University of Winnipeg and a master’s degree in journalism from Ottawa’s Carleton University. He is the proud owner of a blender.

On Twitter: @bkives
Email: bartley.kives@freepress.mb.ca

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