DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I can't get over my old girlfriend who was married this summer to a man who is not even half of what I was to her! She invited me to the wedding as an "old friend" and I was stupid enough to go. She looked heartbreakingly beautiful coming down the aisle, and I almost spoke out when they asked "if there was any reason these two shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony." But what could I say? "Because I know she loves me so much more?"
A few years ago, I made the mistake of leaving her alone for four months between university terms to go off to travel with my friends. She didn't believe I'd be true. I was! But, she met another guy a month later and contacted me, to set herself free. After that, I was anything but true to her. I went on a rampage.
Even so, when I came back and she was still seeing this guy, I met with her once and I could see she still loved me, but she was cold and angry when she said, "Too much dirty water under the bridge, buddy." When they call you "buddy," that's it.
After the wedding, I just couldn't go to the reception. My date and I just left. Do you think there's a chance that marriage won't work and I'll get her back? -- Broken Heart, Winnipeg
Dear Broken: Sorry, it's not likely. The relationship you had in the beginning -- which is what you are still mourning now -- was between two innocent young people who loved each other and hadn't hurt each other. That state can't be retrieved because you and she have continued through life, and she has found love and trust with another man.
She may always love you a little, but she lost trust when you went off without her to have a merry time travelling with the guys. Then you also lost trust when she found a new guy a month later. You think she didn't hear about that? That's the dirty water she spoke of. You need trust to go with love, for a happy marriage.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate too much at a family picnic and threw up by the river. My drunk cousin followed me and said in a mean voice, "You always were a pig, you fat slob!" Then we started fighting and rolling around by the river, and my mom and the aunties were crying and my brothers pulled us apart. My cousin and I used to be best friends and I miss him, although I don't miss his big mouth. Why did he say that bad thing to me? -- Confused, in the Country
Dear Confused: Ask people who were at the picnic near you what you said or did just before your cousin followed you and insulted you like that. If they have no clues, email him and ask him why he said those words, using "Man," as the first word. We all know that is a sign of male friends wanting to work things out. You could say, "Man, why did you insult me like that when I was being sick? I thought we were friends."
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