Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband wants to make love in the water at the end of our dock. I know it's not healthy for me, and the water is too cold out at Lake of the Woods. I like playing around in the water -- necking and petting -- but I'm not turned on enough for the wild thang there. Besides, what if I drowned?
He is put off with my reluctance, because he heard that another couple, who are friends of ours, do it in their pool. How can I get him off this topic? I just don't want to do it in water at all. -- Not a Sea Mammal, South End Winnipeg
Dear Not a Sea Mammal: Introducing the lake, with possible infections and/or tiny swimming things to the interior of your body is not advisable. Make your man read up on his computer about all the dangers of that adventure. If sex and the water is his big turn-on, then have a big blanket near the water and transfer from playing in the water to safely playing on the blanket for the grand finale. Warning: Be wary of sand, if you are on a beach, as it can be an awful irritant to sensitive tissues.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Recently I met a guy on a girls' trip. We totally hit off. He's a bit older, established and well put-together -- and everything I look for in a man. We complemented each other well and it just seemed right. He knew about my home, child and live-in relationship situation. He said if I he could, he'd marry me right now, as I was everything he looked for in a woman. That's exactly what I like to hear, and I sure don't hear that from my guy now. I just took that to mean he was interested... and so was I.
We spent the night and the morning together talking, cuddling, shared a few kisses and lots of laughs. He completely stole my heart. We exchanged contact information and kissed goodbye. I checked him out and he seems like he is who he says he is -- a single bachelor looking for the right one.
Now I can't get him and that night out of my head! I believe in love at first sight and soulmates and all that cheesy stuff, but with my guy now, I still don't feel that "you're the one" factor and I don't think he does either.
Should I stay with my guy now and keep leading this not-so-adventurous, but accomplished life or shake this up a bit, and contact the potentially interested hunk and see where his head is at? After all, we're still young. But is that risky? -- Can't Avoid the Love Triangles, Winnipeg
Dear Triangles: Do you really want to get married to "the one?" If you do, you're going to have to leave the man you're with now, not after you shake things up trying to have an affair with a single guy who is, please note, not chasing you. You can't expect this shiny new fellow, who seemed perfect in one night of communication and cuddles, to chase after a woman with a family. He doesn't want to be used as an experiment to see if he's "good enough" for you to leave your present mate and child.
It's clear you're a security-oriented overlapping type, but how do you ever expect to get a really great guy if you start off trying to get him to cheat with you? He doesn't want that scene, or he'd contact you. If there's to be a relationship with him, you have to leave and establish yourself as free and single, and then call or write him.
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