Not all symbolism is hooey; try taping cash to your computer

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My aim is to make a ton of money in 2013. I heard that whatever you're doing when it turns to midnight of the new year, you will doing more of the next year. I was thinking of coming home from the neighbour's big bash at 11:45 p.m. and doing some computer work on the project that is going to make me the big bucks. My neighbour (also my best friend) says I should tape $100 bills on the top of my computer screen, too. Do you think this actually would help, or is it all a stupid superstition and I should stay at the party? -- Going For The Big Coin, Westwood

Dear Going: It's not complete hooey. Here's the deal with symbols/superstitions of this type: If the money taped to your computer elevates your energy and your drive to get this project done and to the market that brings in the big money, then it has worked. It doesn't work magically, but it works psychologically. By all means come home at 11:45 p.m. and put in some hard work on your project for an hour with C-notes taped all over your computer -- start the money year off with a blast of energy. Why not? If there's somebody worth kissing on New Year's Eve, you can bring your own mistletoe, and kiss early, or go back after 30 minutes at the computer!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went away to a sunspot in Mexico just before Christmas and met this guy at the beach. He was not one of the beach boys for hire for sex for the women. In fact, he was a student at a University in Mexico and we never had sex, though we had many dinners out. They were on me, of course, because I had much more money. Before I left, I gave him some money for school, although I realize he didn't say which school exactly. He didn't ask me for the money, but he confessed how tight things were going to be for him, and that he might not even be able to go to school. Before I left, he told me it was hard to communicate back and forth once I was in Canada, that telephoning is expensive and the family doesn't have their own phone or a computer at home. This is why I don't think he played me. I was invited to a party at his family's house and they are really poor money-wise, but very rich in the ways of family and the heart. The thing is I haven't been able to contact him since I left Mexico and I wonder if there is anything wrong. My employer actually laughed at me and said he "took me for a grand" but I don't believe this particular young man is like that. Should I book another flight down there for early February? Do you think it would be a good idea or bad? -- Hearing Nothing From Him, River Heights

Dear Hearing Nothing: Forgive my cynicism, but it is highly likely this fellow on the beach has a different way of operating from other guys, who get paid with dinners and money for sex with lonely women. Why was he so available to be down on the beach with you every day? He didn't ask you for the money -- we'll give him that -- but he did let you know how much he needed money. Here is a healthy way to look at the situation: You had a lovely holiday and you gave $1,000 to a man who may or may not have used it for university. Just let it go, and don't go back for more duping. He probably has another tourist on the hook for dinners-and-a-donation at this point. How about you give your next charity donation to a local place where you know for sure it will be used in the right way?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm a 23-year-old female and still a virgin. I'm quiet, but still outgoing. As the years go by, I've become more and more self-conscious about my virginity. I'm now beginning to think something is wrong with me. What will a guy think of me when he finds out? Will he flee as fast as he can, because of my inexperience? How do I bring this topic up with someone when it's time? I've had a few boyfriends but as soon as one tells me his feelings, I get scared and run because I'm scared to admit my inexperience and don't want to be judged. How can I overcome these feeling so I don't end up that 40-year-old virgin? -- Tired of Running

Dear Tired: A 33-year old woman might be daunting for a guy, but a 23-year-old virgin might be kind of charming, especially a guy who has real feelings for you. You virginity is not something to "get rid of," but something to share with somebody special. It's not something you need to broadcast on the first date, but something you should mention, without apology when a new relationship has developed. Talk about it, in an amused kind of way, giving it a Victorian kind of spin. "Do you find this daunting, kind sir? Would you like time to think about it?" And here's an idea we'll try. Let's ask young men to write in and say what they would think of being the first to make love with a 23-year-old virgin -- a young woman they cared about? Is it too much responsibility? Would it be exciting, scary, an honour?

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Wpg, R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 26, 2012 D4