DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was so mad at my boyfriend, who passed out for the third time in a week, I locked him in the bedroom on my birthday. I'm a handy guy, so I got out my toolbox and put a hook on the outside of the door, left him in there and went back to the bar. When he came to, he got on his cell and phoned a friend who came over and they took the door off the hinges. When I got home he'd left a note telling me I was the worst sexual partner of his life, he hated men and he never wanted to see me again. OK, I'll cop to forcible confinement, but he had no business saying I'm lousy in bed. I am the best. He knows that. He won't take my phone calls and says I'm lucky I'm not in jail right now. What should I do to get him back? I still love him. -- In Love with a Drunk, Fort Rouge
Dear Fort Rouge: It's curious you're no stranger to the legal term "forcible confinement." Was this your first time? Look, people can wake up vomiting and choke to death. They can even pass out and not wake up all if they have poured way too much alcohol into their bodies. You not only left your boyfriend in a vulnerable state, but prevented him from getting out for help, or to a bathroom. You're lucky he didn't call the police on you or they would have laid charges. Don't even think about trying to get back with this man. Get some serious counselling over what you did, and although we're late in the game for respect, at least apologize any way you can and respect his desire not to see your face again.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend of 14 months and I are in our 60s. We got engaged in March. He gets mad about every little thing. He screams and yells and swears at me when something doesn't go his way, then I get moody and don't talk to him. He hurts my feelings so badly I'm in tears. And every time he has a fit of anger, he wants his ring back. Last week I saw him walking with another women holding hands, so I guess that's the end of our relationship. Now he wants his ring back. I put a lot of work into his cottage painting and cutting thousand of sandbags open with my bare hands. Do I have give the ring back? In my opinion, I don't because he was cheating on me, so too bad for him. I should get something for all the hard work I put into the cottage. What do you think? -- Want That Ring, Winnipeg
Dear Deserve: Bad news -- you don't get to keep the engagement ring when you break off an engagement. Even if he was cheating and even if you worked your butt off at his cottage, the ring is not a form of payment. On top of that, the ring has "bad vibrations" on it and you're just mad. Give it back, and aim for a higher level. This was an unhealthy relationship and hard on you. Good news! People are not stuck with the self-esteem families and romance partners leave them with. Take a break from the love game and go after challenges you enjoy, mastering them and feeling stronger all the time. When you raise your self-esteem, you'll naturally raise your standards in men. Your last choice of lover was a liar, yeller and cheater. Dump him and his diamond ring for good and save up for a sparkly version of your own design.
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