Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Posted: 03/28/2014 1:00 AM | Comments: 0
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am free, single and in deep, embarrassing trouble. I'm in my early 30s, have two girlfriends in town and a young girlfriend, 22, who is very casual. I was just teaching her the ropes, at her request.
I have been having frequent sex with all three women -- I love each one in a different way -- but I have encountered a problem: I have a case of "critters" and my doctor sent me to the pharmacy for the cure today. I am going to be OK after treatments of medicated shampoo and washing my clothes and bedsheets with hot water, I just don't know what to do about my girlfriends. One of them gave it to me, but which one? Do I tell them all, or what? Could I just wait until the guilty one confesses? I also have this little ray of hope: could I have gotten it from a wet towel at the gym? -- Bad Boy, St. Vital
Dear Bad Boy: The miniature zoo you are referring to is called pediculosis pubis, not pediculosis towelis, as it is most often spread through the close contact of pubic areas, not towels. People usually transfer the "critters," more often called crabs, during sex. In the very rarest of incidences, people have gotten them from towels, but usually towels shared by two people who have just been getting busy. Who else uses your towels besides girlfriends? Do you have roommates? I'm thinking likely not, at your age and with your lifestyle.
Here's the deal: You can't have sex with anybody until you get this mystery cleared up and everybody involved gets fixed up. There can still be lingering trouble over a period of two weeks to a month with a new generation springing from eggs or "nits," which didn't get destroyed in the first shampoo applications.
You need to explain to all three women, if you haven't already, that you are non-monogamous and understand they may also be seeing others. This problem could be spreading elsewhere. Just make the three phone calls and get it over with. Email and texts are easily forwarded, and that could make things way more embarrassing than speaking privately on the phone.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is not your typical request for advice from a "love coach," but it certainly relates to love -- of my mom. I am the eldest daughter in my family and am always watching out for my parents who are now in their 80s. Both are healthy, but my mom is starting to lose mobility: she doesn't leave the house for days on end and has difficulty getting in out of chairs and up and down the stairs.
I'd like to figure out a way to get her to be more active, especially in the winter when she doesn't get a chance to walk much or get any exercise at all -- she's been hibernating and going downhill. I'm not sure how to approach this issue, or if there are facilities that cater to her age group. I am worried she will start to have serious problems walking in the near future if she doesn't start to get active soon and this would seriously diminish her quality of life. She hates exercising all alone. -- Concerned Daughter, South End
Dear Concerned Daughter: You mom needs a reason to move. This winter has been hard on us all, but particularly rough for older folks who couldn't afford to go out on the snow and ice and hazard a fall and a broken hip. If you push her to walk in the neighbourhood alone, it's not going to happen for long. She needs a friend to go with her to a gym, such as Reh-Fit Fitness Centre at 1390 Taylor Ave., where they have medical personnel and structured classes and walking on a special track. Can you put the word out to close relatives and her closest friends to find a fitness companion, and even set up her payment up as a gift from you if she doesn't have much money? She will need to spring for good gym shoes from a place that measures her and is knowledgeable about feet like Canadian Footwear at 128 Adelaide St.
Please send your questions or comments c/o email@example.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition March 28, 2014 D4
Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories? Please use the form below and let us know.
Having problems with the form?Contact Us Directly
Food-court friend chewed up trust
Austin's antics all about high standards, Tabbies coach says
All Rinelle wanted was to keep her face hidden
Labour has a lot at stake in NDP schism
Nitpickers ruin a perfectly bad movie
Sorry to see the old church go
Weak 4th line will be costly
'Defence' defines Jets
You want him to put on pants? Oh, bother
Prairie agriculture industry faces a growing shortage of good help
Evaluating retirement readiness
Well, this is awkward (but not awkward enough)
Trending that caught Doug's eye... space aliens
The not-so-wonderful life
Baby daddy needs to know you before committing
Doing the splits
Global warming's cold reception
Personal health affecting health of the economy
Holding open a door to equality
And now a word from our literary editor
What wasn't said speaks volumes
Santa salivates over pet-picture trick
Women's issues are just, well, issues
Be creative this Christmas to avoid credit card debt
Ice Crystal Gala's Thiessen sets fine example
Hedge your bets on staying with closet gambling addict
Postma fits role to the letter
Redemption may be beyond Selinger's grasp
Fans confirm city is special
CBC documentary delves into fascinating, astonishing world of pigeons
They’re all winners
Speaking to voters
A relationship counsellor will be third in threesome
Lone Wolf Trax now in good company
Dewitos nacho great to me
MTS Centre not the only megaproject contributing to the rebirth of downtown
Second Cold War highly unlikely
A mother's burden: Women still do the heavy lifting in raising kids
Confront mean teacher and see what you learn