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Don't be too hard on your silent friends

By: Miss Lonelyhearts

Posted: 03/20/2013 1:00 AM | Comments: 0

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm so messed up I don't know if I'll ever be right again. I've been married for three years to my childhood sweetheart and found out last weekend she's "moving on before we have kids." As if that's the commitment these days. No kids? No marriage! I promised to love that little (witch) forever, and I get this bye-bye speech while she's standing outside the shower curtain, and I'm showering and can't get at her. Apparently she's "met someone else and she never had a chance to date before because she met me too young." I phoned my two best friends to come and get me because I was ready to do something to myself. My closest buddy said, "Sorry, man, we heard she was getting around but we didn't know how to tell you." Now I am so angry at my friends. They knew already! Don't your best friends owe it to you to tell you? -- Betrayed by Everyone, Osborne Village

Dear Broken: Close friends should tell, although men will often argue it's not their business to interfere, especially when it's just rumours. But then, is it not a friend's job to investigate the rumours? It hurts to hear, but it's still better from a friend, rather than have it go on and on behind your back with everyone finding out but you. It's a mark of a true friend to have your buddy's back, even if he may deny what you say at first and call you a liar. Frankly, I get some letters afterwards from the gutsy friends who wish they hadn't said anything. Usually the friend who has been cheated on, comes around, but it can take some time. In your case, the guys weren't sure of your wife's cheating, so don't be too hard on them.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Apparently I look pregnant. I would never have put it that way, but a guy I met in person through online personals, told me online after the date, "You got the doughnut thing happening around your waist." He went on to say, "You said you had a few extra pounds, but when we met you looked pregnant." That really hurt. I blocked him and took myself off the service. Why would he bother to write me? I wasn't hiding the extra 40 pounds in my photo. I'm thinking of putting myself on a service for big beautiful women (BBW's) but isn't that like admitting to myself I will never lose the weight? -- Feeling Gross, St. Boniface

Dear Feeling Gross: I know a woman who says she is "in 7th heaven" since she found a guy who loves her as a BBW. He happens to be a skinny fellow himself and no doubt got tired of his own bony body at some point in his life. At any rate, this upsetting circumstance has put you at a crossroads. Forty extra pounds is risky for your heart and for the chance of developing diabetes. At least give "walking it off" a try this spring. Use this jerk's insult as a motivator. You can curse him all the way down the street, knowing you will meet him again -- this is such a small town -- and he will be shocked at how much better you look than he does. Then you can thank him for being such a crude piece of work and inspiring you to date a better class of man. Hey, it's a good daydream and anger is a great energizer when you start exercising and you're waiting for the endorphins to kick in.

Questions or comments? Please email lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition March 20, 2013 C4

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