Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just came home from work this afternoon to see a moving van at my large apartment block and some young moving guys carrying in the bed I custom-made for the first woman I lived with. At first I thought (hoped) she may have sold the carved bed out of spite, but no. Life is not going to be that easy. I get in the elevator and who is texting on her Blackberry and not even looking up, but my cheating ex from 10 years ago? As we exit on the main floor together I say, "Fancy meeting you here." Her jaw drops. "She says, ‘You live here too?’ " and I say, ‘Unfortunately.’ " Then I walked straight to my truck. Obviously, she didn’t move here on purpose, so there should be no problem, right? Wrong! She and I used to pick fights and have wild sex. I loved the evil glint in her eye. And now, I have been hot for her ever since I spotted her in the elevator. I know exactly where she lives now. I’m thinking of going up there and demanding the bed back, then the fight will be on again. So why did we break up, you might wonder, since there’s still so much fire left? She cheated on me with my best friend and I caught her. It broke my heart for years. — Burning For Her Again, Downtown
Dear Burning For Her: It’s a case of "Hello, train wreck" unless she’s living with your old buddy. That would be a real turn-off. Or, considering your feisty personality, it might be a chance for payback. If she’s single now, different story. A lot of things can change in 10 years and you’d be smart to hold off long enough to talk for a few hours and catch up on her story. She may have grown up and changed. Some tigers change their stripes and some do not. We all know burning desire doesn’t work in tandem with good sense. You are already off on a fantasy that contains the word grudge in its description. But if you’re smart and don’t move too quickly, who knows what could unfold? Obviously you still have feelings for this fiery woman.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend picked me, a blond, but he really prefers redheads. He is very open about this and says it’s a testament to my great personality that he chose me over his favourite look — a redhead. Then when we’re out, he’s rubbernecking at redheads all the time. Last night we were out to a big, fancy dress party and there were three red-headed sisters in the room and he couldn’t restrain himself. Finally he got so drunk I overheard him asking one if she had the "matching collar and cuffs" and I grabbed him and walked him outside where I yelled at him for disrespecting me, and then squealed off leaving him on the curb. He was at my place in 30 minutes in a cab, apologizing like crazy. I told him if he wants sex with a redhead so much, he needs to know I’d like sex with a guy who was "built where it counts." Now we’re not talking. Help! — Still Livid, West Kildonan
Dear Angry: When you’re deeply offended and insulted, anger doesn’t go away with the apologies of a drunk person. He kicked you in the head — and you kicked him in the groin. It seems you two are even after that fight. You’re not married and this is a possible exit point for both of you. If the sexual attraction, which is way more important than many people think, is not strong — and the love is so weak it allows the disrespectful behaviour you experienced at the party, why not exit? You’re not married or living together. You’re free to look elsewhere. What would you be losing? This isn’t a marriage match. It may be a 70 per cent solution when you’re alone together, but once he’s out in public, he’s attracted to the same image he’s always desired — the red-headed woman. Why fight that? Imagine someone who finds your natural blond looks to be his idea of hot, and you love his build. On top of that, you love each other’s minds and hearts. Then you’ve really got something. You can do better than this soured relationship. Move on!
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