Winnipeg Free Press - ONLINE EDITION
You gotta have a little talk with your unhappily married co-worker
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: The Ice Queen has just come undone. I’d given up on men and babies at 31. Then into my life comes this new guy from work. I went with the group for drinks four Fridays ago and we went for a long walk that lasted 2.5 hours and I just fell for the man. He and his wife got married without discussing babies. When they finally did, she was stone cold on the idea. He says her fire went out in the bedroom about two years after the wedding. He says he thinks she’s still in love with her ex — and suspects they have something going on. He says he’s past jealousy or even loving her, but he’s Mennonite and didn’t think he could leave his marriage unless he got kicked out. At the end of the night I reached out and kissed him passionately on the lips and said "You deserve this." At first he didn’t respond and then he responded like wild fire. I’m not a homewrecker but I’m burning for his kisses and his conversation and I want him. — Wrecking Ball Temptation, Broadway
Dear Temptation: This crush/romance is springing very quickly from only one night. Are you looking at him as a man, or as a daddy for the kids you thought you might not have? Rather than living another month in Dreamland, tell him you want to have a little talk after work one day soon. Find out what his intentions are, if he’s still deepdown in love with his wife, and if he’d want to try counselling with he to prevent a split up. (There’s nothing worse than waiting for a lover to go through counselling with his wife to see if they can re-ignite the spark.) Tell him this: "I like you a lot. If you become free for good, I’d like you to call me." Then let it go. His marriage may never be over, but it’ll be over a lot sooner if you don’t become lovers.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was at a popular upscale coffee place today to get a cup of tea and was waiting in line. The man at the front of the line waived a lady over and let her cut in. This has happened a few times there. Why would someone think it is OK to cut in front of people? What would be the correct way to let them know this is not acceptable behavior? I don’t want to sound too shrill, but really, they need to be told that this is very rude and inconsiderate. — Peon at Back of Line.
Dear Peon: You say pointedly, "Excuse me, but we’re all in a hurry and no one can cut the line." The guy who let the person in, might say, "But I said it was OK with me." Then you say firmly, "But it’s not OK with me and all the people waiting behind you here. Please tell your friend to go to the back of the line." This will work — I test drove it for you.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 26 and I sent an unfortunate picture to my girlfriend of me naked. She passed it on to a girlfriend who passed it on to a bunch of people. I don’t really care about the one friend seeing it because I am well built and I’m not ashamed of being nude. But, now, this picture is going around. How can I stop it? I know quite a lot about computers but not how to get this stopped. — Embarrassing Nude Shot, Winnipeg
Dear Nude Shot: The best you’re able to do at this point is stop yourself from sending out another one, and consider dumping the girl who sent it off to her buddy who disseminated it. If you know a lot about computers then you already know that once you’ve sent it to other people, it’s OUT THERE. If you regret it immediately, you can ask the friend to destroy it, but you’re relying on her and she’s gotten hold of a hot commodity. Like most secrets, the one or two BFF’s get told or shown if they promise not to pass it on. In this case, the best friend had no particular loyalty to you. DAMAGE CONTROL: Try not to show you’re embarrassed by it and people who see it will have less power over you. Just say casually, "Hope I look that fit when I’m 50."
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