DEAR Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a female lover who plays dominant games with me, where she is Mistress. Now she has lost another job (she's bossy and belligerent) and is down on her financial luck. I have jobs that I could hire her to do around my place, but then it might feel to her the power is in my hands and here I am, supposedly her slave. I have a big property and need the flower beds weeded, the car washed, the house cleaned. And really need the lawn mowed regularly (big property you have to drive and cut). I know those are menial jobs but I also know she is starving. What should I do? -- Caring About Her
Dear Caring: Playing power games should not permeate the whole relationship to the point where you can't hire her to help you, and help her survive. Tell her playfully you need to get the place whipped into shape. List all the areas that need work but defer to her judgment on some of the work. Let her list what tasks she's doing and when and how. You can still be polite and pretend to be a little passive. And when it comes to paying her, leave it in an envelope in a drawer she knows about. Discretion on the money payment end is a smart idea as money can be a thorny area between partners of any kind, and that goes double for your relationship.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was floating around at Lake of the Woods last weekend on an air mattress when this guy in a canoe paddled up beside me and said, "Hey, mermaid. Want a drink?" He had some cold drinks in a tiny freezer and we shared them. I got such a thrill out of this intimate little visit in nature with this great looking guy who was wearing next to nothing -- and it turns out we both live in Winnipeg . When we were on the water, he gave me his phone number to call him when we were both back in the city. Imagine my disappointment when I saw him in Kenora the next day walking down the street holding hands with this chick. I'm going to call him and give him a piece of my mind on his answering machine. What a player! -- Unhappy Mermaid, Winnipeg
Dear Unhappy: Why are you surprised he has ladies? "Hey, Mermaid" was your first clue. That's pretty bold for any guy, so he's got plenty of nerve where women are concerned. You might give him a call and ask what gives with he and the woman you saw him with in Kenora. But, get a grip on your anger. He's not going out with you and he may have several girlfriends. That's allowed. You can let him know you're a one-man woman if that's what you want to do, but that also would be premature, before dating him,. Since he annoys you already, and you've made no investment beyond flirting, it's be smart to let this guy drift off into the sunset.