DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a guy who was working in the Safeway near my home and he was so cute I kept coming back. He hasn't been there for a few weeks so I asked where he went and one of the cashiers said he'd moved off to another store, but wouldn't tell me where. I'd be willing to check every Safeway in Winnipeg if I could find him again and ask him out. I know he likes me too (he flirts with me) and I really feel like I missed a big opportunity. But, would he freak out if I found him again and would he feel like he's being stalked? -- Want To Find Mr. Safeway, South End
Dear Want Mr. S,: Why did he not ask you out? Do you think it's because he can't hit on customers or was he just practice-flirting and doesn't care that much? Look, there's a chance he liked you, too, but if you show up on the other side of town and find him, it's going to feel like stalking. But, if you very casually check around the two closest Safeways to yours, you might be able to finesse an "imagine meeting you here" and then tell him you miss seeing him at the old store and ask him our for coffee. If he gives you any kind of no, such as "love to, but I have a girlfriend right now," don't bother him again.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was in bed with my older girlfriend, who happens to be kind of married, when there was a knock at the door. Her cheating husband was out of town on a business trip so it wasn't him -- and besides he has a key. She sneaked to the window and saw it was a neighbor. She called through the door, "Can I help you?"' and the neighbor says, "Tell your little boyfriend to leave or I'm going to tell your husband." I almost fell over. I whispered to my girlfriend to tell the old biddy to leave or I would call the police. Now I'm scared this witch next door WILL tell her husband and he will come after me. He has a lot of money and powerful friends. He also cheats on his wife when he's away. I've seen the paper trail -- dinners, flowers, drinks, sex toys. -- The "Little" Boyfriend, Wpg.
Dear Boyfriend: Your cougar needs to set herself free. The time for playing revenge games with her husband is over. The old gal from next door is not afraid of your girlfriend, but she may be afraid of her husband. It's interesting she gave you a chance to get away instead of simply telling the husband. Whatever the reason, you need to get out of this situation, pronto. This was the warning flag. Bad things are about to happen all round, so make yourself scarce until your cougar is free to be on the prowl. She may actually love her cheating spouse and be hoping he finds out he's had studly competition. If he's not a gentle guy -- and I'm betting he's not -- you could end up in trouble.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Boy can I relate to Loathing Mommy! My mother in law was so lovely to me in the beginning, but as my relationship with her "baby" grew more serious, and a wedding date was set, things started to change. I knew exactly how she felt when we opened her wedding card and found it empty! We've been married four years, lots of drama. I confronted her once in front of my husband and she still brings it up. Thankfully, my husband defends me when she attacks, gets up and leaves, and comes home and confesses all. She is always nicey-nice to my face, but my arms are sore from pulling out the knives in my back. I thought your advice to Loathing was spot on -- confront prospective mama-in-law and see if he steps up to defend you, or if he runs away! If Loathing's fiancé doesn't turn out to be as strong as my guy, he'll never cut the cord. -- Happy With My Man, Winnipeg
Dear Happy: I hate to prick your balloon, but why does your husband run home and tell you every mean thing his mother says about you? That's not being 100 per cent supportive and protective. He must enjoy seeing your upset reactions, or he wouldn't do it.