Boyfriend's porno secret discovered

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I discovered my boyfriend has been taking movies of us making love and I don't now what to do. I'm disgusted and want to get away from him ASAP but I'm afraid if I yell at him for the tapes and equipment, he will hide them. How do I get hold of all the evidence and destroy it before he knows I'm on to him? I want to smash his equipment so he can't pull this with other women too. -- Unwitting Porn Actress

Dear Unwitting: You don't say what form of evidence you've found but it sounds like you've located at least part of a home-made sex movie starring you and this sneaky man. Find some excuse to be at his place without him and do a complete sweep of all the rooms. The cameras will be easy to find if you look at the angles of the shots. Finding the film he's already taken will be more difficult if he's carefully stashed it on computer, but if he thinks you don't suspect anything, he might be careless. You may want to contact a lawyer to see what can be done about protection for yourself when you break up. A stiffly-worded letter might force your boyfriend to give you all he's got -- but you never know about copies -- or anything he's sent out online. That's a whole other headache. Any techies with ideas to help and tips on things to look for, please write and I'll pass the info on in an upcoming column.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am a gay man with a new boyfriend, and three dogs. The oldest one is losing the ability to take care of her bathroom needs and I must be on the watch and very careful with her. She's a grand old lady -- has loved me gay to "straight" to gay again. She deserves my love at the end of her life. Mostly she's at my studio with me. My new lover thinks I should get rid of her her. He claims the old girl is "in pain" but my doctor says she's not really arthritic and she's fine except for the occasional dribbling. I can put up with that. The new boyfriend is sweet and charming but finds subtle ways to suggest we send my doggie to the great beyond. I told him nicely but firmly this morning we are a package deal, and he just came unwound. He said I love my dog more than a human being , and that's just "sick." He just stormed out of here. What do you think? -- The Sicko, Osborne Village

Dear Sicko: Consider this guy's outburst a good thing because it revealed the ugly side of his nature before you got too involved. Take your dog out for a nice walk and turn this man's angry voice off in your mind. He was looking for a way to shame you into killing your dog -- and that should be shocking. You don't need a partner like that. What you do need is an animal lover who will enjoy dogs and other critters that might come along. Animals can be great friends and companions and sometimes they last longer than humans. They will be there when you're sick, old, tired and blue. As for your old dog, buy her doggie diapers to wear in the house so it smells decent. The right person won't scoff at your love for your dog and will see it as a sign of how you treat people when they're not youthful and require some loving care.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 25, 2010 D8