Bus crush has left the station

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I see this woman at the bus stop on Portage Avenue every morning and she always looks so beautiful and fresh, all clean and dressed up. Sometimes her hair is still a little bit wet from the shower, and I just love that. If I stand close enough, I can smell her perfume. I was timing things so we'd go on the same bus every morning and I'd talk to her a little more all the time. The last time I saw her we shared my umbrella in the rain -- and I got to sit with her. But after that -- really the whole last week -- I went to the bus stop at the usual time and she wasn't there. I feel sad. I don't know if she started a new shift or she's avoiding me by taking a different bus. I don't want to look like a stalker, but should I try a different bus time and try to find her? Please help. I'm 18 and I have a serious crush on her. -- Missing Her in the Mornings, St. James

Dear Missing Her: The trouble with having a crush on a stranger is you don't have important information. She may have a boyfriend, and your romantic ambitions became clear to her in the rain. Or, she may be a shift worker. Or, she may not fancy you. Stick to your old bus schedule and don't go looking for her, or she may be creeped out. Look at it this way: She knows when you take the bus and she probably knows you have a crush on her. If she wants you, it's her turn to make a move, and she isn't making it. It's time to take your attentions off this stranger and look for someone else who could realistically become close with you and enjoy the summer.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm in high school and don't have a date for grad. I'm trying to pretend it doesn't bother me but it's already May. I'd like to go to grad with someone who means something to me and there's only one guy I will ever love -- my ex-boyfriend. I broke up with him because he had a drug problem. I broke his heart by dumping him. Do you think it would be good or bad of me to ask him to my graduation? I will always love him, but I can't be with him on a regular basis because he abuses drugs. -- Tempted To Ask Him, Wpg.

Dear Tempted: Don't do it unless he's cleaned up his drug habit and you want him back as a boyfriend -- or he's totally over you. Otherwise, you'd be setting him up for another break-up and his heart would get smashed to bits again after your grad is over. Instead, look around for a casual fun date for grad -- a guy who's a platonic friend and doesn't have a girlfriend right now either. And, don't be afraid to do the asking. Here's another approach -- the group date. There are lots of people who aren't paired up and it can be fun to go as an organized group of friends to grad and not do the couples thing.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 19, 2011 D3