Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Cheating husband's limp lies leave her in a rage

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm so livid I just put my hand through the kitchen wall! For three years my husband has deprived me of sex, pretending he has "erectile dysfunction problems." Today, I found out he has been having sex successfully for those same three LAME years with a woman who he "loves and plans to marry." Like a fool, I believed him and tried ever-so-gently to help us have a happy marriage without intercourse. (I'm a lady, but I'm sure you know what I mean here.) He just went down the road with boxes of his clothes hanging out of his trunk. I hate him so much for what he did to me! Please help me.

-- Heart Bleeding, Charleswood

Dear Bleeding: Make a call to a tough domestic lawyer he doesn't know and see her/him on an emergency basis. Plus, see a crackerjack accountant fast. Your dishonest ex may try to hide his money. As for Emotional First Aid, set up counselling for yourself immediately and VENT. Don't burden your children with your deep grief and bitterness beyond some crying here and there. Lean on your divorced girlfriends instead. Also, slam out your anger and frustration by joining a boxing club or a racquet sport. If you can't eat, learn to make smoothies with protein and fruit -- the breakfast of the broken-hearted -- and swallow liquid greens. See your doctor; get whatever you need. Blood pressure can leap and anxiety and panic often show up, but exercise can help that, particularly running and swimming. Good luck.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I see myself as a very happy, passionate, ambitious person but I stutter. I hate it! So many times, I know exactly what to say and how to say it to make it sound good and smooth! But I go to open my mouth, and this happens: "I, wan - waaa wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn tttttttttttt to buy a damburger?" In the past couple years, it's worse. I'm becoming anti-social because I'm so scared of stuttering. It makes me boring, because I don't know how to make general conversation or joke around like I used to. The things I'm interested in all involve speaking, and I don't want to be scared to do things. I go to university and I want to work in government or with a political party, or be a lawyer. What do I do?

-- Stressed & Want To Be My Best, Winnipeg

Dear Best: Go global now! You're intelligent, ambitious, studying in university, and care about the world. No doubt you've had stuttering therapy for years, so it's time for you to open to the entire world of research and help. First step is to hit the International Fluency Association's website www.theifa.org . Then, you need to go to the big conferences. Among other gatherings, find out about the Congress on Fluency Disorders Aug. 5-8 in Rio De Janeiro. World experts and people who stutter are joining to share latest discoveries, new areas of research, techniques that are working, and experiences and issues of those who stutter. It'd be worth the money to borrow from the folks/grandparents/bank to go. Can't afford that? From Oct. 1-22 there's an online stuttering conference and it's detailed at www.stutteringhomepage.com. If you can do it, buy the material from the 2009 National Stuttering Conference happening right away July 8-12 in Scottsdale, Ariz. by emailing organizers through www.westutter.co. I invite my readers who stutter to share names and groups of those who have really helped them locally, to be passed along to you privately.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 3, 2009 D4

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