Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Destroy sex video before he steals it back

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: OK, I did a little movie with my boyfriend with some nudity and stuff. Well, we actually had some pretty wild sex at the end. We really enjoyed it as our own private porn show after that. Very innocent stuff but sexy. Then he and I broke up, and he managed to scoop the movie first. I asked him for it back, and he said he could get it back "in a while." Why not just give it to me? Then I thought a bad thought: "He wants time to copy it!" But, he's very lazy -- one of the reasons I broke up with him. I asked again last weekend and he still stalled. So, I know where he hangs the spare key to his house and went in and got the movie which he had been watching (hopefully by himself) because it was open right beside the TV. He phoned and was furious and yelled I stole from him and that's a B&E and you can go to jail for that. I said "I don't care." Do you think I'm in danger? -- Stole My Own Movie, Winnipeg

Dear Stole: Do you really think he's going to go to the police and tell them he made a sex film with you and he wouldn't give it back, so you broke in and got it? That seems very unlikely. But don't be surprised it if he tries to get it back the same way you did, from your house. Keep your keys on you and destroy the stupid thing. Having porn starring yourself, as the cause of a tug-of-war after breaking up, is just silly. You don't need this particular movie anymore to watch as a couple, as your relationship is finished. Let this die with it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A new guy just moved into my block, and he lives on the same floor. We also park next to each other. He is very cute so I invited him over. We had welcome drinks and a barbecue and one thing led to another when I showed him my suite. Now I can't get rid of him. He's from another city and lonely and always at my door like a hungry puppy or arriving down at his car at the same time as I get to mine to go out at night. Should I tell him outright that what happened between us was fun but not meant to lead to anything else? -- Naughty Girl, Fort Rouge

Dear Naughty: Yes, tell him the facts as nicely and with as much good humour as you can. And, next time a good-looking guy who lives in your block or sits next to you at work, looks like a tasty new item on your menu, turn the page. It's uncomfortable to get sexually close to a person who's always in your physical vicinity, especially if you're just fooling around the one time, in your mind. Look further afield if you want casual sex, and make sure you agree beforehand you're just having a tumble. There's no need to hurt sincere people's feelings when there are so many players out there who want exactly what you want.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband has a thing for toes, and I'm OK with that. I have every color of nail polish as well as ankle chains, toe rings and foot perfume oils. As well, I have a collection of sexy shoes he has bought me and I have purchased for myself. The trouble happens only one season a year -- good weather season -- when other women are out in their sandals and spikes with no stockings. His eyes go everywhere, and I can see it. He's even stupid enough to comment on other women's toes as if I am part of him and share his love of women's feet in general. I do not. I do like men's buns, however, and have started commenting on them to get back at him. He is mad and says that's just being mean in reaction to his "harmless" fetish. How should I react to that? He's right, but I'm not about to admit it. -- Not His Fetish Buddy

Dear Not His Buddy: He's talking to you like a sports commentator watching a sport you both love. Tell him it hurts. Tell him it makes you feel jealous and unhappy. That should put an end to it if he cares about your feelings. Sometimes we need to tell people when we are jealous, even thought it hurts our pride. Offer him a deal: Promise to stop the comments about other guys behinds if he will stop ogling and commenting on other women's feet.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Wpg, R2X 3B6, or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 7, 2011 A1

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