Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Don't ignore her offer to talk

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS; My fiancé's ex-wife has asked me to speak with her confidentially about abuse. I immediately told my man. He said, "Don't talk to that psychobitch or I will never talk to you again." Something in my gut says maybe I should talk to her, and my mom is urging me to. What do you think? -- Tempted, Winnipeg


Dear Tempted: Talk to her. Twenty minutes with a person's ex who's mentioning the five-alarm ABUSE word, makes sense. If your ex had nothing to hide, he wouldn't have threatened you. The phone is close enough -- no need for face to face -- and put your mom on the other line as a witness. Ask about abuse -- the degree of it and when it started (some men are princes until after they marry you), drug and alcohol addiction, verbal abuse, gambling, treatment of his own children and any step-children, possessiveness, control and money issues. This may be a courageous thing his ex is doing or a pack of lies. But you can't afford to ignore this offer.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm 26 and a virgin. I just had a year of therapy and I'm feeling good about myself finally. My whole body seems to be turning on, and I'm feeling aroused every day. I want to try out SEX, and frankly I don't care about waiting for love first. I look around at the university, and at my waitressing job and I don't know what kind of man I am even looking for. I mentally undress everybody on the bus searching for the kind of man that will make my gut flip over. I want my first lover to be great, though not necessarily my final lover. My mother married the first guy she ever had sex with and regretted it. I fantasize about Lenny Kravitz at night. Is that a clue? Is that the type for me? -- New At Sexuality, U of W


Dear New at Sexuality: Let's take your Lenny Kravitz example, and analyze the components: physicality, image and personality, so you can look for someone comparable here. Why do so many women find that man hot? First, he decorates his body like an African warrior. He's half-black, half white and physically exotic, yet North American in his thinking. Big head, lots going on upstairs, sexy songs, sensual lips, wears mysterious glasses -- vulnerable photosensitive eyes and not a big talker. Great musculature -- you've probably seen his bare bottom pictures online -- so its not surprising you suspect he's very sexual. Then, there's the way he emotes freely, in songs about love. Realistically you're not going to find Lenny at U of W, but you could find a guy who's the same basic type -- musical, artistic, works out at the gym, curly hair, wears wool hats, confident demeanour, a performer, maybe dark-skinned, raised North American. So... in your search for lust/love get involved with musical and/or drama events at school, volunteer at the Winnipeg Folk Festival, the fringe festival and Folklorama. Learn how to play an instrument. You'll find a musician type soon enough.


Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 or email

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 4, 2010 d3

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes


  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.


Make text: Larger | Smaller


Chief justices breakdown cameras in courtroom project

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • July 1, 2012 - 120701  -   Canada Day fireworks at The Forks from the Norwood Bridge Sunday, July 1, 2012.    John Woods / Winnipeg Free Press
  • Challenges of Life- Goose Goslings jump over railway tracks to catch up to their parents at the Canadian Pacific Railway terminalon Keewatin St in Winnipeg Thursday morning. The young goslings seem to normally hatch in the truck yard a few weeks before others in town- Standup photo- ( Day 4 of Bryksa’s 30 day goose project) - Apr 30, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

View More Gallery Photos


Do you think Manitoba needs stronger regulations for temporary workers?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google