Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Don't look for trouble, enjoy happy marriage

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DEAR MS. LONELYHEARTS: Lately I look around and what I hear and see about marriage is so depressing! There are so few couples that don't get divorced, or whose spouses aren't cheating. It breaks my heart, and I feel like my own young marriage is doomed, even though my husband and I love each other and are each other's best friend. The statistics and the reality seems daunting. I'm almost waiting for the other shoe to drop because it can't last from what I read about and see in our own families. Why in this day and age is it so hard to be married and to honour your vows and the person you chose to spend the rest of your days with? -- Confused and Disheartened, Winnipeg


Dear Disheartened: As my grandma would have said, "Why are you borrowing trouble!" You're one of the happy statistics, so please stay over on your own side and enjoy the happy love you have with your husband. If you walk around bemoaning the general state of marriage, you're going to be such a big drag to your own husband, he may "catch" the contagious disease of discontent. Protect your marriage against trouble by pouring lots of good memories into it every day. Do fun things with your husband, introduce new aspects to your love life, be generally affectionate, and say good things about the man to other people when he's in earshot. A psychiatrist told me the secret of making someone fall in love with you is to find out what the object of your affection wants, and give it to him.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just wanted to say thanks to those who responded to the FASD (Fetal Alcoholic Spectrum Disorder) letter a couple of weeks ago. It truly meant a lot to me that I could get opinions outside my family and friends. I made a letter error; I made it through college on my own, but not high school. I did make my way through high school from an amazing program called Continuing Education at Shaftesbury High School. I stopped having the teacher aid in college and cried when things got hard, but I managed on my own. I'm one of many who unfortunately suffer from FASD and I've been told I would make a very good public speaker, though I already have a career. I want those who read this to know that they're not alone and that they can graduate high school and overcome other problems if they admit they have them and want to change them. I'm not a certified therapist but I'm very good at lending an ear, or an eye. Please give my email to those who respond if they need an ear about someone they can relate to. -- Thanks Everyone


Dear Thanks: It is heartwarming to have a thank-you letter to pass on to the people who sat down and wrote to you, someone they didn't know. Not too many people can be bothered to say thank you in this busy world, but this just shows you are classy as well as intelligent and determined. FASD has not gotten the best of you. Try to let the anger towards your mother who drank when she was pregnant with you start to lessen. This has been your path in life and you have proved yourself to be a true heroine. If you aren't already involved you might want to get into speaking by educating teens about the problems and heartache they can cause by drinking when they're making a baby and carrying it.


Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Wpg, R2X 3B6, or email


Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition September 2, 2010 D10

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