Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Dump him or look the other way

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS; My boyfriend was dating an escort/stripper but he claims he didn't know. I know people who know her personally and say otherwise. I added her Facebook page; I had a feeling they were still talking. I Googled her email to see if any of her escort adds would come up and there was a half dozen ads under her Facebook email. He denies talking to her at all. He's a good boyfriend but I know that their relationship was based on sex and she would call him once in a blue moon to get it, so he would be able to sneak around on me and not get caught. I'm just so confused and hurt because he's denying such things. He claims he's never done anything wrong. I want to believe him but I don't know what to think. That cell phone number isn't her number anymore she has a new one, and I'm afraid they're secretly talking. What do you think? -- Suspicious Mind, Winnipeg

Dear Suspicious: You know you don't believe him, but you want to keep him so much you're trying to hang on. It's hard to accept truths that will mean you have to let someone go. But, given time, and your snoopy nature, more and more evidence will come your way. It's like getting pails of cold water over the head. There'll come a time when you have to face the facts that are already there, and make a decision -- let go or keep on looking the other way.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have three "girlfriends" -- two in town and one real girlfriend on the rez. The two in town are only part-timers and the one on the rez is a keeper. I just don't want to be alone. I can't get to sleep at night when I'm alone because I have memories from abuse I got as a child. I tried to tell my girlfriend from the country she's the one I love and I only "make love" with her. I work in the city because I am university-educated and have a good job. I hope she will join me one day. She said to me, "Why are you telling me this?" Now she's all suspicious. Should I tell her the truth about the other two, who are only people to help me get to sleep? I don't have sex with them very often. -- Scared of the Nights, West Kildonan

Dear Scared: There's a temptation to laugh at this situation and see it as an excuse to have extra sex on the side. But, there are people who are terrified of the night, of abusive memories and of bad dreams and night terrors. If this is going to be life-long problem for you, and counselling can't help you past it, pets on the bed are a better way to find comfort than using women as company/protection. I know grown-ups who sleep with a protective dog and a couple of cats snoring on the bed, and have all the company they need every night. However, if you're not a natural pet person, forget it. Pets need real love and care. Whatever you do, you must get rid of the female babysitters, if you truly love your lady in the country and try to get her to move in here ASAP.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition October 21, 2011 D6

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