DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Yesterday, two of my best buddies came to me looking really uncomfortable and embarrassed. One said, "Your girlfriend is fooling around at the bar. We both have seen it." I said, "What exactly does that mean?" and he said, "Doing drugs, and going outside with guys to their cars for an hour for sex... I checked." I phoned her immediately. She said, "What $%#&* liars!" and then she said it was all jealous crap and other stuff with a lot of "um-um" between words. I know she had a bad reputation in the past, but she settled down with me the last year, and it was so great having sex and a real girlfriend. It took me four years to get a steady girlfriend. I can't afford to lose her, and wait another four years. I'd forgive her anything, if she was sorry, but she isn't. I'm in so much pain my stomach aches all the time.
-- Mr. Ugly, North End
Dear Mr.: Don't make yourself sick struggling to keep a woman with you once she's already cut the tie. I'd tend to believe these two friends who were so embarrassed. If you know a girlfriend is doing drugs and having sex with a number of other guys it's not just heartbreaking, it's dangerous. You could catch a sexually-transmitted infection like AIDS from some other guy and die from it. Confront your girlfriend a second time and break it off for good. Then get tested at a clinic. Everything from now on will be downhill anyway. And, here's a little comfort. It won't be another four years to the next girlfriend. While a young high school guy might be awkward and not know what to do, you have had a full year's experience. As for not being good-looking, you don't have to have a perfect face to attract women and any guy can build muscles and buy nice clothes.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm pregnant with a child that doesn't come from my husband, but he doesn't know that. My lover is not black, but he's not exactly white either. I am of mixed blood myself but look pretty light, except in the summer. My husband is blondish. I don't believe in abortion, so that's not a choice for me. My husband is good to our child together and he makes very good money. I need that support for my first child and during my pregnancy when I can't work. I don't want to leave him. But, what if this baby is so dark-skinned I can't blame that on my ancestors?
-- Worried Sick, Winnipeg
Dear Worried: It's a huge injustice to use your husband as a meal ticket and have babies with another guy, though people have done it (and some have gotten away with it) since time began. It's very risky when the couples involved are inter-racial. Obviously, you want the home and financial support for your first child and yourself while you're pregnant. But what happens when the baby arrives and looks like another man's child? Does your lover know you are having his baby? Does he want to be with you or does he have a family of his own already? Since you've taken a lover (and it's still going on), your relationship with your husband is not likely to be a lasting match whatever happens, so you should tell the truth now. If you break up with your husband, he must provide support for his child, and you'll need to get work. Your lover might support you in this pregnancy, and he must pay child support for his baby.
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