Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Explain complexities of affair to your child

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Fireworks is the best way to describe the relationship with my man. Well, he's almost my man, except for his wife who's sick in the head. I feel sorry for her -- she's out of it. But I am not going to stop seeing her husband if I burn in hell, and I might because I'm Catholic. I'm not sorry about my relationship with him. My husband was mean to me and I had no life and no sex so I left him after almost nine years, but who's counting? My lover will not leave his wife because he is a good man, but what's the harm in his getting a little loving and appreciation from me? Mostly his wife shrieks at him. I have seen her and she looks scary to me. Sometimes I worry she will come over to "get" me, but he swears she doesn't know about me. My problem is this. My kid found out about my love affair and she is not happy. She has told her dad and now he threatens to make trouble for me. What should I do to protect myself? Don't tell me to stop seeing this guy because that won't happen in a million years. -- In Love Forever, Downtown

Dear In Love: Your child does not understand the complexities of adult relationships, and is understandably upset with you for cheating with this man. Since the cat is out of the bag, you must now explain those complexities as best you can -- and more info is better than less right now, since you don't plan to break off with this fellow. Things to try to explain to her: If a person is in a relationship with a wife who's mentally and/or physically ill he may make choices that are not popular with society, like having an affair. He may still love the memory of what and who she was. He may also love you too. Certainly it is a great relief to him to have someone who still shows love to him in his life. As for protection, you have his word that his wife doesn't know you exist, for what that's worth. He is still a guy who cheats and you have to take that into consideration even if you feel his situation warrants it. You'd better get a good lock system on your door and watch over your shoulder. One last thing for you to digest -- he may still love her, even if his physical passion and friendship is with you. It's possible to love two people at once.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just spit in my boss's face and walked out. I came home and a few minutes ago, the big boss phoned to say he wants me back. I won't come back to a supervisor who calls people racist names, but I need the work. I don't know what to do now. It wasn't a great job but it was an OK job, but it gave me a stomach ache thinking about going to work every day. -- What To Do? Elmwood

Dear What: The kind of stress you are talking about is killer stress -- the feeling of dread every day, your nervous system on high alert, too much adrenalin popping off. You are best to find a different job ---- and try to get a hold on that spitting camel act. That's the kind of thing,, an insult to the face, that can inspire someone to punch you out. You're better off without this job and this stress, but the sooner you look for a new job, the better. Taking a holiday after losing a job often causes people to slide into negativity, and sometimes depression so get right back on it and ask your big boss, who doesn't want you to go, for a good reference. Also tell him you'd consider coming back if he got rid of the racist bully.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 16, 2011 C4

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes


  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.


Make text: Larger | Smaller


Andrew Ladd talks about his injury

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A group of Horese pose for the camera in the early evening light at Southcreek Stables in Stl Norbert Wednessday. Sept  14, 2011 (RUTH BONNEVILLE) / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • JOE BRYKSA/WINNIPEG FREE PRESS Local- A large osprey lands in it's nest in a hydro pole on Hyw 59  near the Hillside Beach turnoff turn off. Osprey a large narrow winged hawk which can have a wingspan of over 54 inches are making a incredible recovery since pesticide use of the 1950's and  1960's- For the last two decades these fish hawks have been reappearing in the Lake Winnipeg area- Aug 03, 2005

View More Gallery Photos


Are you concerned about the number of homicides so far this year?

View Results

Ads by Google