Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Explain wife's mental condition and offer to build a privacy fence

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife is losing it now, but I still love her. She has a lack of inhibition from a medical condition. The other day we had arrived home and were coming out of our car in the driveway and our neighbour was leaning over, examining his tire. She hates the man, always has, but now she has no inhibitions. Before I could stop her, she went over and kicked his upturned butt. He slammed into the fender and then whirled around. I tried to intervene, saying she had lost part of her rational mind and could he please forgive her this one time? I don't want her to go away to some hospital! He said he'd contact his lawyer and he'd think about it. What can I do to make him take pity on her, and on me? She was the love of my life and I still love her, even though she's not mentally perfect anymore. -- Til Death Do Us Part

Dear Til Death: To make this neighbour feel comfortable, go over and offer to build a privacy fence as soon as the ground thaws, at your expense. Make sure you are completely separated from his family's world and no longer open to their twin driveway and side door. That might be enough to make him back off making a big fuss. You need to go over and speak to the man in person and explain your wife's mental condition to him, and that you'd like to keep her at home as long as you can. Guaranteeing she will be out of his field of vision and way from his driveway and side door may just be enough, added to the apology and explanation. Then hustle her off to see her doctors for a consultation about the behaviour and her medication. If she's to be at home, she needs to be better controlled.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a raging desire to pack up and leave the country for a few weeks. I think about it day and night. My husband says I'm welcome to go to Mexico or wherever, but he doesn't like to fly -- he's scared stiff. I said I didn't want to go without him, and he could just take a big, fat Valium and get on that plane with me! He told me he would give me the money to go away for two weeks if I could find a girlfriend to go with me but he won't go. I don't want to go with a girlfriend; I want to go with him. What should I do? -- Should I Stay or Should I Go? River Heights

Dear Should: Take the travel money and run to the nearest travel agency, wifey. Your husband is a sweetheart to offer to scratch your travelling itch with his crisp hundred-dollar bills. Find a last-minute deal at a rock-bottom price and go with a girlfriend and have a ball. You can get an all-inclusive and all you'll need is spending money. Don't insist on getting everything you want -- him AND the trip -- and end up getting nothing. Take the pressure off him and reward him for his generosity by saying, "Thank you, darling. I love you for this!" This might be something he'd do for you every year if you're gracious about it. So far you have been anything but.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition March 6, 2010 c5

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