Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Find a new job instead of working for an abusive tyrant

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boss is a pig. He leers at us women and he picks on the guys in the warehouse. His wife is having an affair with a guy everybody knows. We are friends with her from office parties and stuff, and we all know about the cheating, but we're not telling him. We have a big laugh about it. My boss thinks he's such a big stud and his wife is seeing a tiny little man. This is just a note to warn bully bosses out there that nobody has your back when you're mean to the people who work for you. We need the money so badly we can't quit, but we don't feel loyal to anyone but ourselves. -- Said My Piece, Winnipeg

Dear Said It: Your job takes up the better part of your day and long-term stress can shorten your life, or kill you. You need to report this bully to personnel or a bigger boss, if one exists at work. At least call the Human Rights Commission, and quietly research the help available for your sexual harassment complaints. Not willing to do that? Then you need to take the time to find a different job in an environment free of harassment. Most people hate job hunting and change so much, they make very little effort to get out of a bad situation. Why not take a long period -- say six months -- to scour this city and surrounding towns for a better job with a different company, so you don't have to deal with this guy anymore? Once you have a new job snagged, encourage others to do the same. Life is too short for putting up with abuse.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am jonesing for my room mate's girlfriend. I try to stay away when she comes over, but it looks like I can't stand her, and am avoiding her. I can't stand it when they go off to bed together and I will often phone a friend late at night and go out, or call a sex buddy. She's my idea of perfect and I think I'm falling in love with her. Should I tell either of them how I feel or will that just be worse? -- Craving Her, Wpg.

Dear Craving: In a no-win situation like this, you measure the consequences and look at what's right or wrong. If you tell this attractive woman that you're dying for her, after you've been so abrupt, she will think you're weird and run out of the place. Of course, there's a one per cent chance she's secretly eyeing you too, and you're feeling that vibe -- but it's a very tiny chance. If you tell your buddy you want his woman, your friendship may be blown apart. But, if you keep quiet and steadfastly ignore this woman, you may just get over it, knowing you can't have her. Constant frustration helps that along. Your best move? Just move out. It looks like nobody's inviting you to be part of a ménage a trois and besides, you want her for yourself. Once you're away from the situation, you'll start to settle down and feel better.

 

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 16, 2010 B8

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