Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Forget about an ambush; ask him what's going on
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: There's something creepy going on with my oldest son. He is spending way too much time over at this young woman's house after he mows the lawn. He comes home at dark and he seems different, like he's trying to hide something. He doesn't want to say "hi," like he usually does and runs down to the basement bathroom to have a shower. He's 17 and that woman is single, sexy-looking and in her early 30s I'd guess. My boy is tall, older looking and quite handsome. His dad and I are divorced. Should I go over and investigate next time he's mowing? -- Worried Mom, Wpg.
Dear Worried: You could drop over to bring him a message, but he'd never forgive you for being so meddlesome. You're better off to ask him if he's got a romance going with that lady than to barge in and embarrass him. I'd like to hear from my readers on this question as it's a tricky situation, with potential for trouble all around.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I have a cabin on Lake Winnipeg and a whole ritual of cabin life, going there every weekend starting in June and staying the whole month of July and half of August. This year my wife, who's just turned 72, says she doesn't want to start going now, just wants to stay home. She feels "too tired" to face all that packing. I said, "Are you feeling sick?" She said "No, but just the thought of all that packing and unpacking and shopping and laundry makes me weary." I still want to go. It is part of my blood, part of my soul, these heavenly Manitoba summers at the lake. How many more will we have together? What should I do? -- Lake Lover, Elmwood
Dear Lake Lover: Gently try to find out if your wife is having some physical problems by suggesting you both go to see the doctor and get checked out before summer. Fatigue and malaise can be symptoms of a sickness, and her doctor will want to know she's not acting like herself. Could she be a little depressed, too? If she's physically OK to go -- just feeling fed up with the work involved, you can still have nice weekends at the lake by alleviating the workload. Here are some tricks; 1) Don't shop in the city and pack your food. Simply drive out and patronize the local stores. The big-box stores at home won't miss you. 2) Leave a full set of casual clothes out there, so if you don't feel like doing laundry and packing, you just get in the car and go to your alternate clothes. 3) Eat on the way to the lake and on the way home in restaurants. Do everything possible to eliminate the feeling that going to the lake is a big work production, and take on a greater share of the work, because it's you who loves lake life so dearly.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just found out my new girlfriend can't read. She's extremely dyslexic. I gave her my favourite book for her birthday and I heard her mumble as she was leaving the room, "Now what am I going to do with that?" That's when I asked her what she meant and it all came out. I asked her, "How bad" and she said, "Pretty bad." Then she said, "Are you going to reject me for not reading when you don't have a muscle in your whole body?" I felt destroyed. I thought we were in love over the last two months. Is it worth trying to fix this? By the way, we are 15 and 16, if that makes any difference. -- Upset Boyfriend, Winnipeg
Dear Upset: Try to soothe each other's ruffled feathers. Know this: Many bright (and famous) people are dyslexic, like Tom Cruise, for instance. And, you don't have to be muscle-bound to be cute. Don't leave each other because of this spat unless this first fighting deteriorates into more exchanges of hurtful insults. Say you're sorry, and that you wouldn't be dating her if you thought she was dumb. She will probably tell you she loves your eyes and your hair and the way you smile and doesn't care about muscles anyway. Good luck, sweethearts. Unfortunately, occasional spats are part of love and this is your first one.
Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 21, 2011 D4
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