Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Gently explain that you need to sleep

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I will be killed if my wife finds out I'm writing this. I'm at my wits' end. Sleeping has become impossible for me as my poor grouchy wife becomes so uncomfortably pregnant. At eight months' gone, she couldn't be much more "with child" than she is, and it's so uncomfortable she's awake half the night. "I'm a whale," she says all the time. She wakes me up to keep her company saying, "It's your baby, too! "I can't sleep for her tossing and turning and heaving loud sighs on the other side of the bed. I feel sorry for her, but I feel even sorrier for myself because I have to get up in the morning and go to work and earn enough money for what is about to become three of us. She's already quit work. What should I do without looking like a complete jerk? -- Dead Tired, Ft. Richmond

Dear Dead Tired: Take her in your arms and say, "I know it's my baby too, but I need to support us -- you, me and the baby who'll be here in the next few weeks instead of getting fired because I'm not doing my work. I will gladly wake up with you before my days off, but can you please think of a way to let me sleep and go to work alert on my weekdays? I'm dead tired in the daytime." She may huff off and say she's going to go sleep on the couch, or get up and watch TV or get on the computer and play games for a while, and you may have to let her do that. Tell her it doesn't matter if she's using the house like it's daytime, but get her earphones for the TV and other electronics. Things are bound to be upside down for a while, BUT it's still not fair for her to ask you to be awake to experience her hardship from the pregnancy at night. Later, when the baby's off breast feeding, you'll have to take turns with night feedings. That's part of being a modern dad. But while the baby is in utero, you should be sleeping at night.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want to respond to the letter about worries that people have on the negative impact on charity from buying NHL tickets. In our situation we usually go away for 10-14 days every winter somewhere warm to try to escape our long and cold winters. We made a decision to forgo spending $10,000 plus each year on a trip outside of Canada and spend the money instead on our tickets and related costs (pre-game meals, parking, concessions, etc). This money stays in our city creating jobs and local revenue instead of supporting business and communities outside of Canada. I am sure many others have made, or will make, the same decisions. Also the national and economic boost to this city and province from having an NHL team in their city and province is huge. -- E.T. Says No Effect on our Charity Giving

Dear No Effect: Some people are very upset about disposable income not going to charities. Even if maximum tickets are sold to fill the MTS Centre, it's still a small slice of Winnipeg's population.

Dear Miss L. There is a finite amount of disposable income! When Rick Hansen or Terry Fox raised money on their cross-country runs, giving to other charities drastically declined. People should be aware of this and continue giving to charities even if they spend $10,000 on NHL tickets. -- JS, Wpg.

Dear JS: We should all be making a conscious effort to give more to charities, period, because the world is experiencing more turmoil. There is a lot of money in this prairie city. Our wealthier citizens are always being approached for large chunks, and most will continue to give generously, with tickets or not. If the rest of us were more deliberate about giving to charity, the amount of money that went to NHL tickets would not even be noticed.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 16, 2011 D7

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