DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was out eating at a well-known steak house downtown with a very hot-looking man, and I could feel his hand resting on my thigh as we ate lobster sitting there side-by-side. Lots of conversation -- good times. We had ordered dessert when he then decided to grandstand by asking for the dessert to go and leering at me so the waiter could see what "we" were up to. I was not ready for the wild thing at his place, as he so rudely presumed on our FIRST date. When the waiter hustled the cheque over, eyes twinkling, I was blushing furiously. When we got outside, I saw a cab coming and quickly flagged it down. He looked at me in shock and amazement as I said, "Bub-bye!" Quickly he motioned for me to roll the window down and said "That dinner cost me over $150, you $%&*#, which the cab driver also heard. On the way home I was so angry and embarrassed I started to cry. I want to get back at him and make him pay for treating me like dirt, but I don't know how. How dare he! -- Need Some Revenge, River Heights
Dear Revenge: He knows very well you're not a call girl or any of the other vulgar names he said to you. But he puts a price on his largesse at the dinner table -- $150 should buy him a big time in the bedroom. You have nothing to prove to him, and you did exactly the right thing by hailing a cab. Allowing a guy with a big ego and a bad temper to drive you home after finding out his sex plans are off, could end up with locked doors and an assault in the car. What you can do is warn your close friends he's a bad date and thank your spidey senses for getting you out of there. Another time, you might stop dead at the front of the restaurant right by the phones, say your goodbye there and call a cab. And, on other dates always sit across the table where a guy can't access your thigh, even if he pats the seat beside him. You can also subtly weave it into a first date conversation that you don't believe in intimacy right off the top. That will cool him off somewhat and it may actually deepen the conversation.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This woman I love is going away for one year to study. I thought I was OK with this, but already I feel lousy enough to be writing you. She's just made it worse by suggesting we both be on a "break" while she's away. I am supposed to see her tonight and find myself feeling like it's more pain than it's worth. She knows she's taking off May 1, so now I have three months of saying goodbye to her -- and then she's free to be with anyone she wants. Part of me feels like breaking it off right now and the other part thinks I should make the most of the time left so she won't forget me and she'll come back to me. I love her and she's the one I want to marry. HELP! -- Can't Bear to Share Her, U of M
Dear Can't Bear: This is a time when you need to get an equally exciting agenda happening. In fact, consider booking some adventure holidays with friends -- perhaps your last travel time as a single man. It doesn't hurt to give her a little reason to be jealous.... Don't over-estimate the glamour of your girlfriend's experience studying in a foreign country. A lot of students think they're going on a big study adventure and find themselves lonely for their friends and their sweetheart back home. Others have a great time, learn what they need, date a few people, and come back ready to settle down. Then there are the people who try to enjoy their adventure and have somebody whining and crying back home making them feel guilty every step of the way. If you two are destined to marry, you won't forget one another. Think of it as a last test. But don't sit at home being a good boy waiting for her to contact you by phone or computer. That's not how to play the game -- and sometimes romance truly is a game where strategy is all-important.
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