Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Go ahead, try teen fantasy with husband

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband told me his fantasy is to be a hockey player and come off the ice this winter and go out to the car and do the wild thing in his hockey gear (minus the skates of course). To that end, he's joining a hockey team for guys who are way past their teens. I heartily support this -- fun, good for his health, something he misses. I am quite adventurous when it comes to sex, but now we have kids entering their teen years I'm afraid of causing any undue embarrassment to them. Like, what if the cops show up? I've suggested we take this scene into the house when the kids are out. But, he said the excitement is doing it on a road just outside the city, on a frosty night with stars and the radio playing, like parked teenagers. OK, I get it. I know he was quite the hockey star in his hometown and can easily figure out why this is such a fantasy for him. But isn't acting this out actually being a replacement for the real girl who was with him in the old days? Do I really want to try to be her? I'm 37. -- Not Her!, Winnipeg

Dear Not: Turn it around. If you asked him to act out a teen fantasy that happened with you and a fumbling young partner, there's a big chance your husband would surpass whatever that teen love could do. It could become something that now belongs to you and your partner. And wouldn't you love him all the more for granting your wish? You might even try out the fantasy and say, "Well, that was interesting, but I'm not into it as much as I thought. Does your back hurt as much as mine?" So go for it, but play it smart. Make his fantasy come true, just the way he wants it except go far enough into the country, the gendarmes won't arrive. After all, you're the one your husband wants to star in the show, now it's hit the big time.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: As I write to you, I'm so wiped. I moved into the downstairs suite in a house and the people upstairs have a new puppy who cries and whines and whimpers all the time they're at work, doing crazy hours. They leave him alone way too much and he is desolate. I'm a dog lover and it's making me crazy. What should I do? I'm an artist and work at home so I always hear his cries. I want to go get him! Please help. -- Tortured by His Crying, North End

Dear Tortured: Play this right and it could have a happy ending for everybody. Why not offer to take the puppy in during the daytime and out for short walks, just because you love pups. He could hang around with you and you could have a part-time doggie, no expenses for food and vet services. It's an unusual solution, but it could work. But don't heap any shame on the owners. They probably don't know how he cries and wouldn't want him to be so sad. Go upstairs and tell them you're a dog lover and ask if you could meet their puppy. (Bring a gift, of course.) Get to know the dog, and them. Then ask if you could dog-sit him sometimes when they're out at work, no charge. If they say yes, jump on it, suggesting a time. Hint: Never let on the puppy prefers you to them, even if it seems to be true.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg, R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Miss Lonelyhearts

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition October 2, 2009 D6

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