DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I am a brunette. My boyfriend bought me an unlined white bathing suit as a gift and I wore it for the first time into the lake last weekend at Grand Beach. When I came out, the adults and kids at water's edge had strange looks on their faces and my boyfriend was laughing loudly. People were staring at me, and one boy pointed. Apparently everything showed through the bathing suit and it was a show that I had no idea I was going to give to the people at the beach. My boyfriend got a huge charge out of it and was hahaha-ing from our blanket. I was quiet all the way home. When we got to my apartment in the city, I jumped out and said, "You're not invited in. Go home!" He told me I had "no sense of humour" but I could still see the faces of those people as I emerged from the water, staring at me. I was not aware white bathing suits have this effect, and I am a modern but modest Mennonite woman of 25, who would never be an exhibitionist at the beach. My feelings for him seem to be changing this week. -- Am I Over-Reacting? Westwood
Dear Am I: Turn this around. Let's say you bought your boyfriend a gift of a white Speedo bikini bathing suit that would reveal his shortcomings to the world when it got wet, but he didn't know that and went for a swim. Would he think it was funny to have people staring and pointing as he tried to exit the water with everything showing? Would he think it fun to have you pointing and laughing from the beach blanket? This practical joke is not a fun thing; it's setting a person up for public embarrassment. No "haha's" in that. In your case, he made you the object of leers from adults and shocked reactions from grossed-out little kids. That was a nasty trick. You don't need this type as your boyfriend because he doesn't have your back, or front for that matter. What you're feeling this week is a loss of respect and trust, the foundation of love.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I can't stand my boss who is ugly to look at it and critical every time she opens her mouth. On Friday I lost it and yelled: "Do you EVER say anything like praise to the people who slave for you in this restaurant? Do you know why people are afraid of you and hate you?" To my shock and amazement she started to cry and ran to her office. None of us has received notice of being fired, and we returned to work the very next shift. What, if anything should I do about this? -- Made The Boss Cry, Winnipeg
Dear Made: What you said came out in the heat of the moment, and it's a toss up whether your boss will heed you, or weed you. Do these things: 1) Pretend as if nothing has happened 2) Give your boss time to come around and speak to you 3) Look for another job, just in case you're about to get canned. She can't fire all of you in one day, but even if she decides to change her ways, it's humiliating to have the same people on board for the change, knowing they despise her. You could apologize for yelling and for saying everybody "hated" her without knowing that fact. This is not the time to be sucking up, but a time to apologize for your style in giving her the information on her critcial style and its negative effect.
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